Episode 190 - The Power of Consistency: 5 Mindset Shifts for Achieving Your Dreams
What would happen if you committed to showing up every dayâno excuses? In this episode, I dive into the transformative power of consistency and how it leads to a more fulfilling life. Whether itâs lacing up your shoes for a daily run, releasing weekly podcasts, or chipping away at the book youâve always wanted to write, consistency is what strengthens your sense of self-trust. Iâll be sharing 5 mindset shifts to help you become a consistent person, no matter your goals. Tune in to learn how taking small, steady actionsâeven when you donât feel like itâcan lead to big breakthroughs.
Topics
Showing up repeatedly for what is important
Private actions vs Public actions
Importance & Benefits of Consistency
5 Mindset Keys to Consistency
Choosing Delight Over Obligation
Practical Consistency Tips
Links
đ Want to dig deeper into what you learned in the podcast? â â Go to selfgrowthnerds.com/school to work 1-on-1 with me!â â â â â â â â â â đâ â â
Mentioned in this episode:
đBook: The Practice, by Seth Godin
âď¸Illustrator: Andy J Pizza
đšVloggers: VlogBrothers (Hank & John Green)
đBook: No One Belongs Here More Than You, by Miranda July
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the self growth nerds podcast. I'm your host Marie, a courage coach, creative soul, and adventure seeker. Since through hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions, and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello, nerds. How are you? I'm doing good. Welcome to episode 190. Today we're talking about consistency, which is one of the skills I had to develop in order to get this far with the self growth nerds podcast.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:58]:
First, I'm going to tell you about my definition of consistency, then I'll share why I think it's so important and the benefits you can get from being consistent. And lastly, I will share the 5 mindset keys to becoming consistent. So what is consistency? To me, it simply means to show up again and again and again for what is important to you. Some of the ways we are consistent are private, like going to a workout class every week or journaling every morning. While some ways to be consistent are public, like sharing a blog post every 2 weeks or going to a comedy club every month. To me being consistent doesn't mean you give the same level of output every time, it just means you are present. So if I've decided I'm gonna go to a spinning class every Thursday, there might be one day where I push really hard and the next week, I'm much more tired. I just show up.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:06]:
I I sit in the back I ride and and I don't listen to what the teacher is telling us to do. I'm still being consistent even though the output is not the same. For example if you decide you're going to sit down and write your book every day, one day you might write 2 pages, the next day you might write 2 paragraphs. As long as you show up you're still being consistent. Now why do I think it's so important? Well, first things first, I think you become someone you can trust and this is so valuable. You become someone who can say I'm going to write a book in the next year and you know it's going to get done most likely. I meet way too many people who tell me about the projects that they would like to do, but worry that they're going to give up halfway through. They have become accustomed to disappointing themselves, but it doesn't have to be this way.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:10]:
You can rebuild your self trust. Another reason why I think developing the skill of consistency is important is simply because you get better results with time. If I had stopped making this podcast after 6 months, I would have helped a lot less people. If you stand the test of time, you get to discover what you're really capable of. In the book The Practice by Seth Godin, which I'm going to quote a lot today because it blew my mind, He talks about how important it is to have a consistent creative practice if you want to find your authentic voice. Your style is not just going to be given to you fully formed. You need to go through a lot of trial and error. Andy J Pizza, an illustrator, talks about how if you want to figure out how you draw a hand, you've got to draw hands in lots of different ways and eventually you find the way that works for you.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:18]:
Quantity here is more important than quality. That's why I'm talking about consistency. If you show up consistently, you will start seeing what stands out in your creativity much faster than if you only show up when you feel like it. And personally, another one of the benefits I've found from having a consistent creative practice is the satisfaction of caring about something, of having strong values, of having a platform where I can say, this is what I believe, this is how I want to contribute to making the world a better place. Creating these podcasts every week has helped me develop ownership of my ideas, has helped me get to know myself, has helped me develop courage. Self expression is liberating because instead of complaining and feeling powerless, you get to contribute in your own way to the cultural shift you want to see in the world. I think in a way, this is going to sound rough. It's selfish to hold yourself back when there's a chance that you have something important to contribute to the world.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:43]:
Consistency also builds resilience. You show up even when you don't feel like it, and you surprise yourself at how capable you actually are. There are days where the last thing I wanna do is record this podcast and I still sit down and do it and I'm so proud afterwards. Okay, now is the time to talk about the 5 mindset keys to becoming consistent. The first one is, in my experience, the reason why most people struggle to be consistent. You have to remove the pressure of perfection. You have to lower the bar of your expectations. There's this idea in our society that if you're not sure you can quote unquote win, you shouldn't even try.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:35]:
And I think that's BS. That's where a lot of procrastination and lack of motivation comes from. You believe that if you're going to start a YouTube channel, every video should be of high quality and high relevance. But I want you to consider the vlogbrothers, John Green and Hank Green. They have been posting a video every week for 15 years. Some of them are mind blowing. Some of them have changed my life. But some of them are just very forgettable.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:13]:
That's the only way that they could show up and be consistent every week for more than 15 years, is to allow themselves to not be geniuses every single time. You just show up, make the video, control what you can control, hope the magic is going to be present, and if it's not, you've got to let go. In the book The Practice, Seth Godin writes, learning almost always involves incompetence. Shortly before we get to the next level, we realize that we're not there yet, and we feel insufficient. The commitment then is to sign up for days, weeks, or years of serial incompetence and occasional frustration. To seek out desirable difficulty on our way to a place where our flow is actually productive in service of the change we seek to make. End quote. Part of lowering the bar of your expectations is that you have to stop telling yourself you don't know what to say.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:15]:
You've got to decide to become someone who can figure it out. Someone who can sit down in front of a piece of paper or in front of a screen and rack your brain until you find something that could be interesting. Pay attention to the nudges you get throughout the week. Take notes on what you find interesting. Questions you can ask yourself are what feels alive in me right now? What's something interesting I've seen or heard recently, and what's the meaning in there? What do my people need? What do I feel like sharing? Not what should I share, but what do I feel like sharing in my guts? Seth Godin asked the question, what's the smallest unit of available genius right now? I love, love, love, love, love this question. All of these actually stem from a belief you're going to need to cultivate, which is what I have to say deserves to be heard. I matter. And this might be hard because you might have been told otherwise growing up.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:37]:
You might have been told to keep quiet. You might have been rewarded for not having your own opinions. And that's something you can slowly but surely reprogram. You can learn to feel safe taking up space. The title of a book written by Miranda July comes to mind here. No one else belongs here more than you. Can you practice believing this is true? Everyone deserves to be heard, including yourself. Not everyone will care.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:18]:
Actually, lots of people won't, but that doesn't matter. Doesn't say anything about you. Just tells you that they're off doing something else. They're not your people. You've got to keep expressing yourself, and this will attract the people who resonate most with you. People don't have to care. It's okay. You don't have to take this personal.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:45]:
Rejection from others hurts way more when you also reject yourself. When you throw the baby with the bath water, they didn't like my writing, and therefore, this has to mean something about me, about my worst as a human being. No. It just means they didn't like your writing. Maybe you're not their cup of tea, or maybe they have good points about what you can improve. Another important part of lowering the bar of your expectations is you have to stop telling yourself that what you have to say is not relevant enough. You're allowed to express yourself even if you don't have a master's and a PhD. When talking about imposter syndrome, Seth Godin writes, yes, you're an imposter, But you're an imposter acting in service of generosity, seeking to make things better.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:43]:
When we embrace imposter syndrome instead of working to make it disappear, we choose the productive way forward. The imposter is proof that we're innovating, leading, and creating. End quote. Again, some people are going to think that what you've created is shallow or cringe, but it doesn't have to appeal to everyone. Don't talk to everyone. Choose who you're talking to. Don't try to please the naysayers. This would be the equivalent of Taylor Swift trying to twist herself in a pretzel creating an album that fans of classical music will have nothing negative to say about.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:29]:
You want to create for people who are already fans or fans to be. Instead of wasting your energy trying to convince people that are already doubting you. One of my mentors, Simone Seol, she says in order to attract you have to be willing to repel. That is exactly what I mean. Now another part of removing the the pressure to attain perfection is you have to drop the attachment to perfect tools. Who cares if you have the perfect Lululemon kit or the perfect writing software? These are just noble excuses to delay the discomfort that comes with real work. The discomfort that comes with being a beginner, with being clumsy. You know what I wear when I show up to my spinning classes? I wear the workout clothes that my aunt gave to me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:29]:
She gave me a big bag of workout clothes that are bright pink, and it's not my color, but I'm not going to over complicate my life. So this is what I put on and I go. Take this podcast. What do I use to record it? Just a mic that my former brother-in-law lent me. And the editing software is Audacity. It's free. That's it. Another way we delude ourselves is planning for a perfect version of us.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:00]:
Next week, I'm gonna write 3 pages every day. I'm gonna wake up at 5 AM. I'm gonna meditate, and then I'm gonna sit at my desk with my cup of tea, and I'm gonna write feeling inspired, and this is going to this novel is going to be on on The New York Times bestseller. This is a perfectionist fantasy. It's unrealistic. You want to plan for ordinary you, The version you of you who wakes up grumpy in the morning, who doesn't really wanna do it. Who's going to sit down, complain a little bit, write 2 shitty paragraphs, ask their kid to leave the room again, write another 2 shitty paragraphs, and then have to leave to drop their kid at school. That's real life.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:48]:
If you have time for only 5 minutes of running every day, it's better than 0. So stop telling yourself, I'll just run when I have a schedule that allows me to go for a 1 hour run. That's a way to hide. And don't also lie to yourself and say you'll wake up early in the morning to do x, y, and z if you know full well that you're not a morning person. You've got to meet yourself where you're at instead of trying to force yourself into a a mold of who you wish you were. It seems noble, but it's a protective mechanism. You've got to become more courageous and say, okay, you know what? This is what we've got. Let's see what we can how we can squeeze those lemons.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:42]:
The second mindset key to becoming consistent is to commit. This is a decision. You don't want to leave it up to chance. Seth Godin writes, Saturday Night Live doesn't go on at 11:30 pm because it's ready. It goes on because it's 11:30 pm. We don't ship because we're creative. We're creative because we ship, end quote. This gives me shivers.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:15]:
It's like your favorite ice cream shop. They're open even if the owner is grumpy because it says on the door that they're open at that time, on that day. You have to approach what's truly important to you with the same matter of fact mindset. Commit to getting it done rather than perfect. This was my way of thinking on the Pacific Crest Trail. There were days where I didn't wanna hike. There were weeks where I didn't wanna continue. And I told myself, well, am I done? I am not done.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:52]:
Therefore, I keep going. Of course, sometimes there are circumstances that are beyond our control that force us to reconsider, to change the plan. That's not what I'm talking about. Commitment doesn't mean that you cannot change your mind. Think about marriage. When you get married, you're committing to someone, but it doesn't mean that you can't get divorced down the line if you realize that this relationship is no longer aligned. But in the meantime, you show up with commitment, you are an active participant who's not just sitting there, hoping their marriage is going to work, and hoping that their partner will continue to make them happy. No.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:37]:
If you wanna be consistent, you have to commit to a process. And so your process has to be clear, just like Saturday Night Live knows that they go on at 11:30. You have to know if you're going to, have a YouTube channel what the parameters are. Are you going to post a video every week Or are you gonna post a video every month? Is that video going to be 2 minutes? Or is it going to be 20 minutes? Numbers here are very helpful in making your commitment clear. I knew when I started thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail that I was committing to 2,653 miles. You wouldn't marry someone not knowing what their bank account looks like. If you have $200,000 in-depth, I want to know. Doesn't necessarily mean my commitment will change, but I need to have the information.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:35]:
And if you don't feel ready to commit yet, make your commitment smaller. When I committed to this podcast, I committed to 10 episodes. Same thing, when I started my YouTube channel, I committed to 10 videos. And after those those 10 videos, I was like, I'm done. Just like dating. You won't make like a commitment like a marriage when you've just met someone. You've got to work your way there. If committing to 1 blog post every week seems overwhelming and not realistic for this season of your life, it's better to commit to 1 blog post a month, for example, than telling yourself, oh, we'll just see how it goes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:22]:
If there's no commitment, it's not going to get done, and we might as well own this. Well, you might as well say, this is not the time for me right now to to to write a blog. That's okay. Own it instead of lying to yourself and hoping. Okay? This is not good for your relationship with yourself. Actually, this leads me to mindset key number 3, which is don't expect to be consistent in every single aspect of your life. You've got to choose your priorities wisely. You've got to be clear about why each choice is important, and accept the grief that comes with loss.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:07]:
If you're a multi passionate person like me, I know it can be hard to say I'm not going to work on this project just yet. There's I just don't have the time and the energetic capacity right now. So that's going to be for next year. I know it takes courage, but it is essential to your well-being. For example, it's important for me to be present for my friends in a consistent way and that is why a few years ago I decided to choose the 3 friends that are most important to me, that I want to prioritize. This doesn't mean I don't love the others. It just means I want to make sure I love these three friends well. And it's still hard sometimes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:56]:
Sometimes I feel like there would only be space for one friend, but I give myself grace. I lower my expectations, the expectations I put on myself on how to show up. And by the way, it doesn't mean I don't see my other friends. It's just as a bonus. When I have limited time and energy, it's just been helpful to know who comes first. Another part of choosing what you want to be consistent in is choosing what lights you up rather than what makes sense. So for example, don't write a blog about finance because you think that'll be more popular. If you are really passionate about dogs and that's what you truly deep down in your in your heart want to write about because you won't wanna do it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:51]:
You'll have to force yourself to do it because it's a should. You're telling yourself I should do x, y, and z instead of I really want to. I'm not going to sign up to a gym because that would be a should. I should go to the gym instead of to my spinning classes because it's closer to my place and it's cheaper. These are all true, but it feels heavy. If it feels heavy, you're never gonna be consistent. Oh, I should read more. I should read more.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:26]:
But if if you get books that you think you should read instead of books that you deeply want to read, then consistency is going to feel like you're trudging through mud. Don't choose with your ego. Choose with your heart. If there's lightheartedness and if there's real interest, it's going to be easier to show up. This just makes me think about Martha Beck. I love her. I talk about her all the time. She has ADHD, and she talks about how ADHD is supposedly a disorder, but she's like, okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:06]:
So basically, ADHD is just that I'm only interested in doing what I find interesting. Isn't that how everyone should be? Basically, when you have ADHD, it's just harder for yourself to mold yourself and fit into the system of doing what you're supposed to do. Don't don't try to force yourself to be consistent in something that's going to make you look good or that's going to this is not coming from the right place. So it's probably going to fall flat or you're gonna have to white knuckle your way through it, which to me is not a way to live. Alright. Mindset key number 4 to becoming consistent is you wanna make it a part of your identity and find pride in that. I get to say that I am someone who posts a podcast every week. I'm someone who has posted a podcast every week for 3 years almost.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:14]:
I'm also someone who always figures out what to talk about. You get to start telling yourself those sentences right away. I'm someone who sits down every day and writes their book. Even if it's your 1st day, you're allowed to say this. You say it every time you do it, and slowly but surely, it just becomes ingrained. It becomes your new normal. And if it feels off to tell yourself this, instead you can say, I am learning to become someone who paints every day. Or I am becoming someone who paints every day.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:55]:
I am becoming a runner. I am becoming someone who eats healthy. You get to walk away from your old identity as a self doubter or as someone who quits on themselves or as a pessimist or a cynic and choose a new one, like today. Pick one thing at a time and start telling yourself that when you go on a walk, when you're driving, when you're journaling. I remember telling myself I am someone who makes a 100 k. I am someone who makes a 100 k, just in my head, because I wanted to embody this. I am someone who takes their business seriously. I'm someone who shows up every day.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:45]:
It removes the, the decisions because it's just who you are. This is just who I am. This is what I do. And you can even add a because. For example, I am someone who records a podcast every week because I want to make a difference. And sometimes my why is because I know my listeners count on me. Another example, I am someone who goes to spin classes every week because I wanna feel good and I wanna feel strong. This all strengthens your sense of self, just like we've seen in inside out 2 at Riley.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:27]:
And having a strong sense of self is going to help you feel grounded, connected to your core. And that's going to make it easier for you to navigate the challenges of life. Now lastly, the 5th mindset key to becoming consistent is to never, ever, ever, ever beat yourself up, or at least try really, really, really hard not to beat yourself up. Decide right now what kind of boss you wanna be to yourself. Personally, I know that I want to be a firm but loving and forgiving boss. I wanna be the kind of boss who knows you're capable of so much and is going to hold you to it, hold you to high standards, but who's also going to know that you're human and that sometimes you don't feel good, sometimes you're PMSing and of course that means you're not going to show up the same way and that's okay. We all know that having a good boss is essential to you wanting to show up to work. It's the same thing with ourselves.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:27:49]:
If we wanna show up to what's important to us in a consistent way, we have to be kind to ourselves. We have to be understanding. We have to be clear with ourselves while also giving ourselves grace. Make a weekly video if every time that we do, we're an asshole to ourselves. If every time that we do, we we talk to ourselves this way. This is not sustainable. This doesn't feel good. I'm not gonna do it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:28:35]:
Instead of not doing the thing, see how you can rewire your inner self talk. I know that's much easier said than done, but that's exactly the work I do with my clients. So if you're curious about working together on developing the skill of consistency and becoming someone who you can trust, becoming someone who always shows up and you know that when you say you're gonna do something, it's real, then book a discovery call. Just go to my website, selfgroupnords.com, and you'll be able to book a call for free at the date and time that works best for you. Before we go, I wanna share 5 rapid fire practical tips to be inconsistent. That will, by the way, only work if you apply the mindset keys first and foremost. And here they are. Number 1, put it on the calendar.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:29:33]:
If it's not on the calendar, it's probably not going to happen. I use Google Calendar, I love it. It's going to send me a reminder 10 minutes before, so I cannot forget. Number 2, habit stacking, which James Clear talks about in Atomic Habit. The idea is simple, if you want to start journaling for example and you already drink coffee every morning, just put your journal next to where you drink your coffee, and you're going to stack the journaling habit on top of the coffee one. Number 3, remove pain points. I've got two examples. Let's say you have decided to commit to going to a coffee shop after work every Tuesday to spend 2 hours working on your novel.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:30:21]:
But it's complicated because you only have like one charger for your laptop, and it's annoying to have to get under your desk to get your charger and have to plug it in again every time, just buy another charger. Just buy a charger that's always in your bag and one that stays at home. The other example I have for you, if you wanna spend more time outside, you have a balcony at home, but there's no chair on the balcony, buy a chair. Sometimes it's so simple. We just need to like spend $25 and it's going to make our lives so much easier. Number 4, get yourself an accountability partner. More people than you think wanna do something consistently, and they would be so happy to be able to help you show up for yourselves too. And number 5, which is one that I really love, put some skin in the game.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:31:26]:
Throw your hat on the other side of the fence. For example, I pay a lot of money for spinning classes, so it makes me go because I don't wanna waste that money. There's, someone on YouTube called Struthless, an artist that I love. He wanted to run a marathon and just like, not anything organized, just in his own city. And what he did to make himself do it is he filmed a video of himself saying some stupid shit, probably some racist stuff or something like that. And he scheduled it to be posted on YouTube like the day after. He gave his laptop to one of his best friends and he said, okay, I'm gonna run the marathon and you only give me back my laptop if I do. And if I don't then that video is going to go out into the world, I'm gonna get cancelled and my career is going to be over.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:32:28]:
It's a little bit intense but you know, you understand the gist. Another example for putting skin in the game is announcing a date. If I wanna challenge myself to host a workshop, I might announce to my community the the the date on November 10th. I'm going to host a workshop about XY and Z. Who wants to come? And then I have to prepare it. Or a meeting, maybe, with someone whose opinion you care about. You tell them I would love to go for coffee with you next week and show you what I've done. And then you have to do the thing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:33:11]:
Hiring a coach is another way to throw your hat on the other side of the fence. It's like, okay, well, I've given them my money, and now I have to climb and get to the other side, which is good because that's what I want. But that's what I've been procrastinating on because I'm afraid. But now I have an actual financial incentive to get over myself and go all in after my dreams. Okay. That's it for this week. Quick summary of the 5 mindset keys to becoming consistent. 1, remove the pressure of perfection.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:33:47]:
Lower the bar of your expectations. Number 2, commit, make a decision, and be clear what you're committing to by adding a number. Number 3, don't expect to be consistent in everything. Choose wisely. Number 4, make it a part of your identity and find pride in that. And number 5, don't ever ever beat yourself up. Alright, my friends. I'm sending you lots of love.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:19]:
I hope this was helpful. Please share with your friends who also struggle to be consistent, and I will talk to you next week. Bye. If you love what you're hearing on the self growth nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on self growth nerds.com or message me on Instagram at self growth nerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait. Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.