Episode 183: Overcoming Fear: 5 Barriers Holding You Back from Major Life Transitions - with Rachel Meltzer
Are you thinking about a major life transition, like a career change, divorce, or a new job position? In this episode, freelancer and business coach Rachel Meltzer joins me to explore the 5 clear signs you're out of alignment and how they might be holding you back. We dive deep into the 5 most common barriers that prevent people from taking that big leap into the unknown. If you're ready to face the fears that come with change and realign your life, this episode is for you.
Topics
Fear of failure as the first big fear associated with change
Reframes and strategies for overcoming the fear of failure
The upper limit problem and the importance of taking gradual steps
Embracing challenges and learning opportunities
The potential overwhelm of learning and growth, and redefining success
The fear of judgment and ways to deal with it
Embracing the idea of letting people be wrong about you
Filtering negative experiences and focusing on positive interactions
Links
✨🏕️Join Rachel Meltzer and me in Brave New Path, a very intimate retreat, designed for quirky creatives obsessed with self-growth and ready to reignite their spark! Go to selfgrowthnerds.com/retreat to join🏕️✨
👉 Can't join us physically for the retreat? My online program The Courage to Start New is coming back this fall! Go to selfgrowthnerds.com/courage to learn more.
Learn more about Rachel Meltzer on:
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the self growth nerds podcast. I'm your host Marie, a courage coach, creative soul and adventure seeker. Since thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello nerds. How are you? I'm doing really good. Today we have a big juicy episode for you. We're going to talk about the 5 biggest fears that stop you from making big changes in your life.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:57]:
To help me explore this topic, I have invited my friend and former client Rachel Meltzer. She's been on this podcast before. She's also a coach, more specifically a business coach for freelancers. She's a a freelance writer herself, as well as being a neurodivergent adventurous soul. We had a really interesting conversation, shared lots of personal stories. We started by discussing the, the 5 symptoms that we have both experienced when we were out of alignment and needed to make a big change. Then we jump into the 5 most common barriers to change that we have observed not just within ourselves but within our clients. And then at the end, we talk about the benefits of making big changes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:52]:
Why we think it's actually worth the struggle. Of course, there's a lot of risk and pain involved in making big life transitions, But towards the end of the episode, we talk about everything that you gain from being courageous enough to do so. And if you decide, you know what? I think it's time. I think it's time to do this work, then we'll tell you about our retreat that we're hosting in October, the Brave New Path Retreat for those of you who want to be supported to figure out what's next and go all in. I also have an offer right now, an 8 week course called the courage to start new, in which we're gonna do the same work, but we're gonna do so online every week for 2 months, and it's much more affordable. So you've got 2 options there. If if, if you're approaching a transition and you're freaking out, we've got you. All the details are at self taught nerds.com/retreat for the retreat or slash courage for the courage to start new 8 week course.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:57]:
Okay. Let's get this conversation started. Hi, Rachel. Hi, Marie.
Rachel Meltzer [00:03:04]:
I'm so excited you're on my podcast again.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:06]:
Oh, thank you for coming on my podcast. 2 bird 1 stone. Is that the
Rachel Meltzer [00:03:11]:
the expression? It is. I I I kind of thought a little deeper about this the other day and realized we're talking about killing birds. I don't advocate killing birds. No.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:22]:
It's a bit violent. We don't support.
Rachel Meltzer [00:03:25]:
We don't endorse killing birds, but we do endorse, efficiency.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:31]:
Okay. So let's let's get serious because we have a lot of a lot to cover today.
Rachel Meltzer [00:03:37]:
Yeah. Yeah. Let's start with the 5 symptoms of misalignment before we get into anything else. You really need to know the signs that you might need to make a change.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:49]:
Yes. The first one, the first symptom that you're out of alignment is that you are performing. You're like an actor in your own play. You know what it's like to be you. You know what it's like to act normal, to be fine, but you don't really feel embodied. It's like you're you're you're playing in the movie of your life, but you're not really there. There's, like, a distance. Does that make sense?
Rachel Meltzer [00:04:18]:
Yeah. I feel like with this one, it's a really common, like, tangible symptom is you're shoulding yourself. That's what my therapist calls it. You're telling yourself I should love this. I should be doing this. I should be a lawyer. I should be going to college. I should be staying in this job.
Rachel Meltzer [00:04:34]:
I should love my husband. I should love whatever. And you're not actually really feeling it inside anymore as much as maybe you used to, or maybe you never did.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:45]:
Right. Right. It's also like, oh, this is what I usually do on the weekends. Like, oh, I usually go on a hike on the weekends or I usually, like, help my husband with x, y, and z on the weekends. So that's what I'm gonna do instead of being active in the choices that you're making.
Rachel Meltzer [00:05:06]:
Mhmm. Intentional. Mhmm. Yeah. So the second symptom is that you keep pushing symptoms from your body. Like, you're really tired, but you're like, I'm not tired. Right? I'm just shouldn't be tired right now. I'm just gonna keep going.
Rachel Meltzer [00:05:24]:
I'm just gonna keep pushing through. That's what I have to do. What other symptoms of pushing down your inner knowing do you feel?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:33]:
To me, it's like you get, like, an annoying sense that you're not in the right place, but you're, like, annoyed with yourself when when this whisper, comes up. There's, Cheryl Strayed in her book, Tiny Beautiful Things, she talks about how when you're meant to leave a relationship or a job, you'll have, the word go being whispered from, like, a place deep inside of you. It's your intuition whispering go go go. And you don't wanna go because go leaving is inconvenient. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:06:06]:
I really felt this in North Carolina the last time I lived there. I, like, moved back after van life. And the whole time I was there for that 1 year lease, I was just feeling like I don't belong here. And that phrase just kept popping up in my head over and over. And I was like, what the heck? Where is where do I go then? Where do where am I supposed to go? Awesome. It's so expensive to move.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:27]:
Yeah. We think about all the reasons why it's not a good idea, but the the the whisper is not going anywhere. The the whisper only gets louder. It was like that, for me for for the Pacific Crest Trail. Like, I was like, I'm not gonna walk across an entire country. Who does that? Only crazy people. But the whisper was like, you have to do it. You have to do it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:48]:
You have to do it. I was like, okay. Leave me alone. Like, it it just gets louder and louder. And, yeah, symptom number 2 that you're out of alignment is that you try to push that down. What's symptom number 3?
Rachel Meltzer [00:07:05]:
You rely on a rational story to stay where you are. It makes sense because it really goes along with number 2, actually. Like, it makes sense because it would cost me $8,000 to move from North Carolina to Massachusetts. It makes sense because only crazy people like the BCT. Right?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:22]:
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. We kind of, merged into symptom number 3. From with my ex, I was like, I cannot leave him. I'm 33 years old. I want children. He's gonna be a good dad.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:35]:
It's very rational.
Rachel Meltzer [00:07:37]:
Yeah. And it's it's, actually a good point that we bled into number 3, because a lot of times, you're experiencing one or many of these symptoms. Like, they kind of all Coexist. Together. Yeah. Mhmm. Exactly. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:07:52]:
Another symptom might be that you need to do a lot of numbing. I am the kind of person who really loves numbing. When I was trying to decide if I should move out of North Carolina, I this is hard to admit on a public podcast, but I was, like, drinking half or a whole bottle of wine every single night and watching TV while doing embroidery to fully turn my brain off and not have to think about it all the time because it would my brain and my body were so persistent that I was not in the right place, but I, like, wasn't quite ready to make the change, you know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:31]:
Yeah. The the image that comes to mind for me when you when you share this is, like, your truth is being broadcasted on a radio station in your mind that you cannot turn off. You cannot turn it off. It's being broadcasted 247. And all you can do if you disagree with the truth or if you don't like what it's telling you is, like, create noise that's louder. Mhmm. Or or, like, numb yourself so that you don't hear it as much, like you said, with the alcohol. Some people do it with, work, work,
Rachel Meltzer [00:09:06]:
work, work, work, work, work, work.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:08]:
I know that in the last few months of my relationship, I would do a lot of shopping. When I look at my, like, bookkeeping from these that those months is like, oh my god. Why did you spend $700 in that in that store? And since leaving my relationship, literally have bought, like, 2 pieces of clothing.
Rachel Meltzer [00:09:30]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:31]:
And to to me, that just says, okay. You you're you're you've when you feel like you're in alignment, you don't need to compensate so
Rachel Meltzer [00:09:40]:
much. Yeah. We reach for these, like, comfort things or things that turn our brain off. I listened to a podcast about how things affect your brain that we do to numb. So exercise, alcohol, cannabis, and other types of drugs. And they say that drinking alcohol is like taking a sledgehammer to your brain and basically just like beating it over and over. Cannabis is basically, like, splashing red paint all over it and just, like, kind of covering it all up and making, an interesting fog. Exercise actually helps you process the things and sometimes can just bring a sense of calm to your body because of the endorphins you get from it.
Rachel Meltzer [00:10:20]:
But all of those things at the end of the day can give you that numb feeling. Right?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:26]:
Yeah. I think you can numb with anything. So numbing is when you overdo it. It's the energy that you do it with. You can numb with, self growth. Mhmm. You can, like, binge read self help books.
Rachel Meltzer [00:10:40]:
Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:41]:
Yeah. And that's a way of numbing. I think you can numb with anything. It's just, you know, you're numbing when you're
Rachel Meltzer [00:10:49]:
Overconsuming. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:51]:
Yeah. Consuming. Yeah. When you're trying to avoid stillness and silence. Okay. Let's move on to symptom number 5, which is you have a lot of random bad moods and physical discomforts. Yeah. For me, again, when I was in the last year of my relationship, I thought I had PMDD, the premenstrual
Rachel Meltzer [00:11:16]:
what's the Premenstrual dysphoric disorder?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:19]:
Yes. Exactly. Like very intense PMS. My PMS was so intense. And I thought I had, like, issues with my hormones, but it turns out it it was just a symptom of avoiding the truth. And, like, I would feel, waves of rage sometimes.
Rachel Meltzer [00:11:40]:
Yeah. What about you? How does it show up? I have actual PMDD. It's hard to tell, but, typically, I start to get sort of distant from where I am. I have a hard time being present, and I'm definitely more irritable. And I almost feel like I'm kind of in a hurry, but I'm not really sure why I'm in a hurry or where I'm trying to get to. It's just that I'm trying to fill all of my time. So it turns into mood swings because you're constantly rushing and pushing yourself. And and I already have PMDDs.
Rachel Meltzer [00:12:18]:
I'm already irritable enough. Yeah. And you're short and sharp with people, especially if they're people that you're going to have to make a change with, you know, especially when you're with a partner that you're like, I shouldn't be with this person, but so I'm just gonna get grumpy with them.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:37]:
Mhmm. Yeah. You focus on random things like they didn't do the dishes. Oh my gosh. But actually the truth is you're angry with yourself for still being with them. Mhmm. Yeah. A moment of silence for everyone who's ever been in those hard situations and for everyone who currently is.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:05]:
Yes.
Rachel Meltzer [00:13:05]:
Yeah. A moment of silence because you won't force yourself to sit in silence on your own. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:15]:
So we're not gonna do a whole minute of silence because people are gonna stop the podcast, but, like, tune in and ask yourself if if these symptoms resonate, if you if you see yourself, If there's something that, your body knows right now that you are not quite yet ready to admit. Mhmm. Something that needs to change that you wish could stay the same because you're afraid. Mhmm. The rest of the episode is gonna be for you because we're gonna talk about the fears, the 5 biggest fears that come with change. The reason why most people stay in denial. And we're gonna give you reframes, a bunch of reframes for each fear to shift your perspective and maybe see those fears in a different way. It's still gonna be scary.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:12]:
Making big changes is still terrifying. More manageable. Or at least more manageable. Does that sound good?
Rachel Meltzer [00:14:27]:
Yeah. I love, talking about this part because these are, like, the roadblocks that we get stuck at, and there's always something in your set your head that will say, it's not the right time, or I'm not ready yet. There's never a right time. Like, your body will tell you when you're ready, and your body might have already told you you were ready, and you just haven't realized it yet. So it's kind of exciting to start thinking about these things even though they feel scary at the same time. Yeah. I also love that anxiety and fear are the same chemicals in your brain and starting to ask yourself, is this anxiety? Am I trying to predict the future? Am I uncomfortable? Or is this actual fear and something really wrong could happen? You know? Mhmm. Okay.
Rachel Meltzer [00:15:19]:
So the first big fear is fear of failure. That might sound like it's not going to work. Fear of failure, whoo, has been a huge thing in my life. Oh my god, you guys. I have always had a fear of failure from the moment I started getting grades at school. Like, literally, an f, a failure, was my biggest fear for the longest time as a child. I had straight a's until one college math class, and I got a b, and I cried. I cried so hard.
Rachel Meltzer [00:15:55]:
I only got a b because I had a group project, and I didn't work on it as a group. I did it by myself because I didn't trust the people in the group. Regrets. But that was my first, that was my first failure. And then after that, I started experiencing what I thought was failure more and more. I got into a career that I decided I didn't like. I didn't get my highest score on the law school admissions test. I got waitlisted for law every law school I applied to.
Rachel Meltzer [00:16:27]:
I quit my political job and my law office job and ended up working as a barista. All of these things to a younger me were complete and utter failure. And just, like, felt so disappointed in myself. I thought everyone else was gonna be disappointed in me. My parents were expecting me to go to law school. My nan, my poor old man who just wanted a lawyer in the family, classic Jewish nan, I just couldn't live up to those expectations because they weren't right for me. But, actually, once you get into failure and you start looking at, like, what's next, what's the next possibility, every time you confront failure, it starts to get easier. And the best way to look at it for me is, like, if you're failing, then you're trying.
Rachel Meltzer [00:17:17]:
And you can always try something different if it doesn't work.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:22]:
For sure. The and I love that you said what I thought was failure because that's really important. Failure means something different to everyone. Mhmm. And it's really important to interrogate what what you think failure is.
Rachel Meltzer [00:17:38]:
Yeah. And to be clear, like, my family didn't think I was a failure. No one in my family thought I was a failure because of any of these things, and they would not act that way. Like, they were so supportive. It was all in my mind. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:52]:
To me, failure is just something that doesn't go, according to expectations. Mhmm. And it's just like a, part of the journey. You you do something. It doesn't go according to expectations. You learn from it. You take note, and then you do something else. You you do it better next time, or you do it in a way that's more aligned with you.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:17]:
Yeah. My my big, like, failure story is I wanted to throw hike the Pacific Crest Trail, but I was terrified that I would, fail and come back after 2 2 weeks. That I wouldn't be able to do it and that I would have put my career on hold and then come home and be like, never mind. That that that that that was not possible. I'm not, Yeah. Yeah. And someone told me, well, wouldn't that be more courageous, like, to try it? To go and try it and spend 2 weeks on the trail than to just tell yourself forever, that it's not for you and just stay at home and give up ahead of time, decide ahead of time that it's not going to work.
Rachel Meltzer [00:19:00]:
That's That's a great someone.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:02]:
Right? Right? I don't remember who it was, but thanks to that someone.
Rachel Meltzer [00:19:09]:
Yeah. Looking at it like it's just a part of the story and that you can keep going, you can take responsibility and keep working at it, or decide it's not for you, or have your own back when these things are happening is such a different place to come at it from, unlike my younger self who is just like, well, if I fail at this, there's nothing left for me. It's not true.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:38]:
Mean all of these awful things. Like you said, like, I'm a failure. No. You get to decide what you make it mean. Like, you can decide you're a failure or you can decide you're really effing courageous for having tried. Yeah. I mean, many people say it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:58]:
What if it doesn't work? And what I always tell them is you decide that you're gonna make it work. That you're gonna figure it out, that you're someone who figures shit out.
Rachel Meltzer [00:20:09]:
We always figure it out. Yeah. Life will keep going Yeah. And you'll figure it out.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:14]:
Yeah. And you get to decide if you're gonna be an asshole to yourself when it doesn't go according to the plan. You don't have to be. Like, when your best friend does does something that they see as failure, you would never you would be like, come on. That's fine. Like, you did your best. Now try something else.
Rachel Meltzer [00:20:35]:
You've got to be your own best friend. That sounds cheesy, but it it's, like, the best advice. It so is. Being mean to yourself is not gonna help you get anywhere.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:45]:
Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:20:46]:
It's not. I learned that the hard way.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:48]:
Mhmm. Okay. Fear number 2 is fear of regret. What if what if I changed career and I'm not happier? What if I wish I would have stayed? Okay. Let's talk about this. You don't wanna make a decision because you think it's going to fix everything in your life. Because whatever you choose to do let's say you choose to change career, life is still challenging. There's no, there's the coach Cara Lowenthal.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:26]:
She says there's no off ramp to the human experience. Like, there's no job you will choose or partner you will choose where you will be happy 247. That just doesn't doesn't exist. You've got to choose the kind of challenge that you want to face. So do you, for example, want the misery of not loving your job for the next 15 years? Or do you want the misery of learning to do something new that you love, but it's just awkward because you're a beginner? Do you want the misery of being in an unfulfilling relationship for the next 15 years? Or do you want the misery of that comes with dating, the trial and error that comes with dating? It's like you choose your pain. You choose the heart.
Rachel Meltzer [00:22:20]:
I listened to this podcast. It's actually about dating. And one of the things that they said was, we choose the price we pay. Nobody's perfect. No job is perfect. Nothing in life is perfect. What price are you willing to pay? The price could be a partner who doesn't do the dishes, but is an amazing partner, and you're totally head over heels in love with them and obsessed with them. I have one of those.
Rachel Meltzer [00:22:47]:
The the price could pet could be, like, I'm an entrepreneur, and it's kind of stressful, and my income is really unpredictable. But I love my job, and it makes me really happy. Cost you something or doesn't feel cost you something or doesn't feel uncomfortable in some way. The price I pay for learning how to roller skating is feeling embarrassed in my body sometimes and having bruises on my knees. But you know what? I'm pretty freaking cool when I do get it right, and I feel good in my body when I'm doing it. Right? There's always a price you pay. Am I ever gonna regret these things? Who knows? But it's not regret isn't we have feelings, and feelings are temporary. So just like failure.
Rachel Meltzer [00:23:43]:
Yeah. You can feel regret, but it's going to dissipate, and you're going to learn how to make better decisions for yourself, because if you regret something, it's telling you. It's like, oh, maybe I didn't want that. And most things, maybe not breaking up with somebody, that's not repairable, but a lot of things are repairable.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:01]:
Like, if I decided not repairable?
Rachel Meltzer [00:24:04]:
Oh, that's true. That's true. That's true. That's fair. I was just thinking about, like, jobs. Like, if I regretted quitting my barista job and becoming a freelancer full time, I could just go get another barista job. You know? Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:15]:
Yeah. There's lots of decisions you can go back on. But also, like like you said, I think it's important to hammer on this. Regret is temporary. It's just a moment where it is hard. Let's say, I felt regret, like, a few months after leaving my ex because I felt lonely. I felt lonely, and so I was like, why did I do this? But now that I am in a new relationship with a partner that I love, that in a relationship that's so much more fulfilling and aligned with who I am, I don't feel regret. So regret was just like a moment, a challenging moment, and an an opportunity to, 1, strengthen my self trust to be like, okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:55]:
I trust the past version of me and decision that she made. And 2, an occasion to strengthen my relationship with myself. Like, okay. You feel regret. What what's this about? Like, what's this really about? What's underneath the regret? Because it's okay. It's just loneliness. It's just sadness. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:25:16]:
I think it's a a good time to mention my favorite journaling exercise. I also actually use this to help me write sales copy, which is funny, but I just ask why 5 times. And the first time you ask why, you'll be like, well, I feel kind of lonely right now. And then the second time you ask why, you're like, well, I feel kind of lonely because I'm not with my partner. And the third time you ask why, you realize, well, I feel kind of lonely because I'm not with my partner, but I broke up with them for a reason. And then the 4th time you ask why, right, it just digs deeper every time, and you realize that first thing I said, I feel kind of lonely, is totally balanced out by I'm actually kind of optimistic about meeting someone new even though dating is gonna be hard and I feel pretty lonely right now.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:04]:
Mhmm. Yeah. I mean, it's okay to it's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to feel sad. You like, I think it's Brene Brown who who says something along the lines of, if you wanna open yourself up to big joy, you also have to be open to big pain. Mhmm. If you want a deeply meaningful and fulfilling life, you are going to experience a lot of hardship, a lot of pain. This is why
Rachel Meltzer [00:26:31]:
I love that movie inside out. Yes. Joy and sadness have equal roles in the movie if you look at the amount of lines they have. That's amazing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:43]:
Best movies. And the second one was amazing too.
Rachel Meltzer [00:26:46]:
It was so good. I took myself on a date to see it. Love a solo date.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:51]:
I love a solo date too. Oh, I love solo dates for the bookshop. I, like, gather a huge pile of books, then I go to the bookshop coffee shop and then get, like, a a hot chocolate or cookie and then sit with my pile of books and and look at them. It's amazing.
Rachel Meltzer [00:27:08]:
That sounds so good.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:27:10]:
I love it. Okay. Where are we?
Rachel Meltzer [00:27:13]:
The third fear, fear of commitment. What if I change my mind and feel stuck? I the situations where I'm afraid of commitment listen. Moving to Massachusetts from North Carolina, it might kind of be a reversible decision, but it's very expensive and it is not something I wanted to do again. I did get scared. I'm from Massachusetts. I'm from this area. So I'm from the state. I'm not from the town I'm currently living in.
Rachel Meltzer [00:27:47]:
But I've lived here before, and there was a time in my life, which was actually after I finished the Appalachian Trail, and I first moved to North Carolina in, like, 2018. And I thought to myself, oh, I'll never move back to New England. Absolutely not. And then here's me, 5 years later, wanting to move to Massachusetts. Who is she? Why? Am I gonna get stuck there? Like, when I was a teenager growing up in New England, I just wanted to get out so bad. I felt stuck in the valley I grew up in. I was like, there's so much more out there to see and do. But after traveling full time for an entire year in my van, and then hiking the Appalachian Trail before that, and seeing the entire country, I very much was, like, I love New England.
Rachel Meltzer [00:28:38]:
I love visiting all of these other places. They're fantastic. But, like, I actually kinda just wanna live in Massachusetts where I feel safe and happy, and the people are, like, ever so slightly rude to each other on the roads, and I can honk my horn without being scared of somebody, like, bashing my windshield in or something. Like, I just I've missed where I grew up, and I followed that and it worked out. But I think the important thing to think here isn't just that, like, it's a contradictory feeling. There's There's all these contradictory feelings that you're gonna have, and a lot of them are fear based, and that big fear of commitment of moving here. My dad actually reminded me, you can always move back. You can always change your mind.
Rachel Meltzer [00:29:23]:
It's okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:29:24]:
Like Yeah. But many people don't give themselves the permission to change their minds. I think that's how we've been brought up. Like, you pick a career, you pick a town, and you stay there. And if you change your mind, you're kind of weird. You're kind of irresponsible. You're kind of childish. You're Seth.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:29:43]:
Adults peep adults people. Adults people.
Rachel Meltzer [00:29:48]:
Grown ups.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:29:49]:
Grown up. They pick a path, and they stick to it. Mhmm. But f that. F that. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:29:56]:
You're wrong. You're wrong. Like, it's just like the law school thing. I changed my mind. I decided not to go to law school, and that was terrifying. And I really thought about whether I would regret it. But you only I think the best thing about permission is that, like, you can give yourself permission to do most of the things that you might feel like you can't. Like, write yourself a permission slip.
Rachel Meltzer [00:30:19]:
We're not in elementary school. You don't need a signature from your mom or your dad or your grandparents or your best friend or whoever you think is judging you on Instagram. Yeah. You can sign that permission slip.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:30:30]:
It's like, who says you have to interrogate your belief system? Who says you can't change your mind? Oh, it's the culture. Is that the value system that you want to abide by? Or do you do you think differently? Mhmm. I think there's nothing wrong with changing career, at 30 years old. I think there's nothing wrong. And some people do. Some people think it's it's silly. Well, I don't think so. And it's my life.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:31:00]:
I live I'm the one living my life.
Rachel Meltzer [00:31:03]:
Yeah. And, also, the best way to change culture is to be the change you wanna see. It'll have a ripple effect. You never know who else is also experiencing these things around you too, who also needs permission. You know? Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:31:20]:
Yeah. Okay. That was fear of commitment. Now fear number 4, fear of inadequacy. So what if I'm not good enough? What if you if you wanna let's say, you wanna change career? What if I'm not good enough to do this? What if I've I've, what's the what's it called? The upper limit problem? Like, what if I've reached my ceiling, and I can't
Rachel Meltzer [00:31:47]:
do it? The glass ceiling.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:31:48]:
Well, that's
Rachel Meltzer [00:31:49]:
a very feminist agenda, but yeah. It's not that term.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:31:54]:
Not that. Guy Hendricks, in his book, The Big Leap, he talks about how some people don't make the leap because they have an upper limit problem. They feel like they've they're at the top of their potential. But to me, when when you're feeling called towards something and you worry that you're not good enough for it, it's a challenge. It's like your life curriculum. It's like the universe telling you here's the ways in which you need to grow. It's your own personal learning and development plan. It's like, okay, I don't think I can do it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:32:32]:
Let me figure out, Let me become the kind of person who can do it. What do I need to learn? What are the skills I need to develop? How do how does my mindset need to change?
Rachel Meltzer [00:32:44]:
Mhmm. I also wanna, like, put a little caveat on that because sometimes it feels like there's a lot to learn or a lot to change or it can be overwhelming. You learn over time. You will take breaks during that process when you feel like you've consumed too much, and you will find your way so much more naturally than you ever think is possible, and all these little things will pop up that will help these concepts that you're learning stick when you least expect them. Like, when you're listening to a podcast episode or you're driving down the street or having a conversation with your friend, learning doesn't necessarily have to be this formal thing like it has been in our past lives. It can be reading books. It can be watching YouTube videos. It can be listening to podcasts.
Rachel Meltzer [00:33:28]:
It can be trying something out. It can be talking to people. And that is something that if you want to live an intentional life, you're probably going to be doing in some way, shape, or form for the rest of your life, and it can actually be, like, super fun and joyful, but it can also be overwhelming, and that's totally normal and okay. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try because that, like, fear of inadequacy, if you confront that and work on it, it will also bolster your confidence, and you will see yourself become such a strong, capable person. You're already a strong, capable person, and you can grow into that self and step into that self just by deciding, I can be good enough, even if I'm not good enough right now.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:22]:
Yeah. I'm not good enough at this yet. Yeah. I can be. What what the, issue that I often see and how I visualize it is people are the at the bottom of the stairs and they think they need to be at the top of the stairs already. But no, it's like one little step at a time, and you have to be willing to suck at the beginning to be average at something at the beginning. Mhmm. And next thing you know, you're gonna look back.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:47]:
Like, I look back on the last 4 years. I've been a coach and a business owner for 4 years. The, like, the hundreds of things I have learned how to do, it was just one step at a time, and now I have I have this whole skill set that I didn't have before.
Rachel Meltzer [00:35:03]:
Yeah. I always the biggest symptom I see of people having a fear of inadequacy and not even realizing it is comparing themselves to other people, especially on the Internet. You have no idea what that person's story is, what they're posturing, what their confidence is actually like in their brain, what they had to do to get to where they are, how long they've been doing this. Like, there's no such thing as an overnight success. And my favorite example of this right now, it's very in the zeitgeist, Chapel Roan. It took her 10 freaking years to get to where she is now, and people are calling her an overnight success.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:35:39]:
Oh my god.
Rachel Meltzer [00:35:40]:
It's a joke. It's not real. It's something that we make up because we as humans are so hopeful that we could, like, do that overnight, but we're not built for that. And if you had overnight success, if you went from the bottom of the staircase to the stop top of the staircase in, like, a week, your body and your brain would not be able to handle that, and it would suck so hard. You'd be like, I feel like I'm supposed to know what I'm doing, but I have no idea how to do this.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:36:05]:
You wouldn't have the skills. You wouldn't have the nervous system capacity to hold all of it. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:36:11]:
Yeah. And and there's just like, people compare themselves to me. I get on podcasts to be interviewed frequently, and people are like, wow. I wish I've literally had someone say this to me on a podcast. I wish I had the resource library that you've built for your clients. I really aspire to do that. And I looked at her and I was like, I have literally been building this for 4 years. I probably spend maybe 5 hours a month building resources for this library over the course of 4 years.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:36:42]:
Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:36:42]:
And it seems massive, but it was little, teeny, tiny baby steps. What's 5 hours a month? It seems like nothing. But that sometimes is what it takes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:36:53]:
I had a I had a client who wanted to to be a freelance writer, and she talks to me about you. She was like, but I don't know if I can do it. Like, Rachel can do it. She's so confident. She's so driven. I'm like, friend, Rachel was my client. She's full of doubts like all of us. Like, don't be fooled.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:37:14]:
Don't be fooled. My, sometimes I get frustrated because I think I should be further along on on my journey, and my partner reminds me, like, you're only 4 years in. You're still a beginner. Yeah. My parents built a business and it took them, like, 10 years to start making money. And now they're they're living an amazing life. But the in the 1st 10 years, everyone was like, clearly, you're you haven't got your shit together, and you should stop, and you should go get a job. But they were fierce.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:37:48]:
They were determined, and they kept going. But when, like, I I worry that I haven't figured everything out yet, my parents are like, of course, you haven't. 4 years in. Anyway Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:38:03]:
No. This is such good reassurance, and it actually leads us perfectly to the 5th and final fear, fear of judgment. What will people
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:38:13]:
think? That's a big one.
Rachel Meltzer [00:38:16]:
It's such a tough one too because we as human beings are naturally inclined to worry about what other people are thinking of us. It's very normal, and, unfortunately, we are the ones who have to deal with it, because it's gonna come up biologically, very naturally, anyway. And it's tough to tell yourself, like, this is my life, and I really wanna be happy, but people are gonna think I'm weird, or people are gonna tell me that I should stop if I'm not succeeding after 6 months. Or there's so many things that you can tell yourself. But the number one thing I've learned, because obviously I've experienced fearing people judging me, I've posted the most cringeworthy videos on every social media platform there is, Learning how to make good content and learning what content I actually like making. Spoiler alert, I'm not really into making reels, but I can make podcasts all day and turn them into reels. The fear of judgment almost always never comes true. I genuinely have never had somebody judge me to my face for what I'm doing.
Rachel Meltzer [00:39:32]:
I've definitely had my nana be like, when are you gonna get a real job? But first of all, who cares? And second of all, once I started earning as much as my cousins were at their quote, unquote real jobs, she understood that, like, oh, this is viable and I trust her now. And the majority of the time, whatever you're afraid of, no one else is thinking about you. No one else is judging you that way. You are your own worst critic. You, I personally like, I'm not worried about about what other people are thinking of me because no one could hurt my feelings more than my inner critic. Her name's Deborah. I named her that. It's really helpful to name your inner critic and be like, you know what, Deborah? No.
Rachel Meltzer [00:40:20]:
Stop being so mean to me. I'm gonna try it anyway, and then cringe it out, you know? But that's also a skill that you can learn how to build. Like, not being afraid of what other people think, I genuinely believe is a skill that you build up. It's a tolerance you build up. It's just like fear of rejection. If you send a 1000000 pitches, eventually you're not gonna be afraid of rejection anymore because some of them will come back. You know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:40:48]:
Yeah. So true. And things that I tell myself that help with with fear of judgement is 1, let people be wrong about you. You know who you are. Let people be wrong about you. There will always be people who are wrong about you. That's number 1. And number 2, the other day I was at spinning and there's a spinning teacher that I don't really like and I was like bitching about her to my friend.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:41:16]:
And then realized, actually, I can bitch about her with my friend. It doesn't change anything to her life. She doesn't hear it. And she gets to have the best day. And some people probably love her classes. So there are probably people out there who judge me for deciding to leave my career as a graphic designer and become a life coach. They probably say, oh, she's a life coach on the internet. So what? I'm so much more fulfilled than I used to be, and what they say behind my back doesn't affect me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:41:50]:
Mhmm. And it's just like a tiny moment in their conversation. We all like like to gossip. Mhmm. Yeah. And also, like, a lot of the time, like you said, we are our own worst critic. And when we think, oh, I'm afraid they're gonna judge me, they're gonna think this, this and that, it's you judging yourself. It's the internalized shame.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:42:18]:
So that's worth looking into. Why am I worried they're gonna think that? It's probably because part of me is worried judges myself. Why do I judge myself? Or my why what am I ashamed of?
Rachel Meltzer [00:42:33]:
Yeah. There's one last thing I wanna add to the whole fear of judgment thing. I've started teaching myself to filter the things that I see on the Internet as for me and not for me. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:42:46]:
Example. The things
Rachel Meltzer [00:42:47]:
that are for me, they make me energized. They feed me. They're typically positive, or they're people helping each other on the Internet. With LinkedIn, especially, I really struggle with, like, negativity, finance bros, the things that are, like, a little too corporate for me, but I use LinkedIn to get clients and it's really effective for me. So I know I wanna be on there because it will help me with my life. So the things that are for me are people who respond to my pitches and are excited to work with me. There are people who comment on my posts and wanna have a genuine conversation. There are people who are starting conversations in their posts that are, like, really positive and helping each other out and bringing the freelance community together.
Rachel Meltzer [00:43:28]:
The things that are not for me are people who are, like, spamming my DMs with pitches to work for me when I'm obviously not hiring anybody. I just ignore them. The things that are not for me, people who send me connection requests that I don't know, that I don't really wanna connect with. Not for me. Just ignore it. The things that are not for me, I've started to ignore, and it becomes easier and easier to ignore, and then the platform becomes so much more enjoyable for me. And so I've started applying this to other areas of my life, like criticism from other people and, like, people who are just like like, I was in a coffee shop one day, and I was working, and I had, like, a 10 minute call with a client. And typically, I don't take calls in coffee shops, but I was like, oh, it's only 10 minutes.
Rachel Meltzer [00:44:13]:
It's no big deal. We had our call, and literally a minute before I was about to hang up say goodbye to this client, this guy who was sitting kind of next to me, there were 5 other empty tables in this coffee shop. There is no reason he had to be sitting directly next to me at a bar by the window. He turned to me and very angrily said, you're being really loud right now. You really need to quiet down. You shouldn't be taking video calls at a cafe. Cafe. And I was like, I'm really sorry I disturbed you.
Rachel Meltzer [00:44:42]:
And then I turned back to the client, and the client was like, wow. What an asshole. And we laughed about it, and we moved on with our date. It was totally fine. And I didn't let it get to me because I was like, that guy is not for me. He is obviously not interested in what I'm interested in in life. And then later on, he took a phone call in the cafe, and he was so angry on the phone. Like, you could tell he was angry, and he was so loud.
Rachel Meltzer [00:45:09]:
And I was just this new reframe, I'm just, like, literally laughing. Like, a previous me would have been so infuriated by this hypocrisy. And me now, I'm just like, that guy is not for me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:45:24]:
Wow.
Rachel Meltzer [00:45:25]:
You're not gonna be for everyone, and everyone is not gonna be for you, and that is okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:45:31]:
That's so good. One of my mentors, Simone Seel, she says you have to be willing to repel in order to attract. If you want to be surrounded by people that feel like home, you have to be willing to repel those that are not for you. Like, I definitely when I was, dating when I was, like, starting conversations on dating apps, there's the question, like, what do you do for work? There were a few times when I said I'm a life coach, where I remember this one person said, I must be honest, I have a negative bias towards your job. I was like, okay. Not for me. Not for me. So it acts you, like, pursuing your truth acts as a filter.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:46:17]:
Mhmm. Clearly, you're not for me. If you don't sup like, I want someone who, like, wholeheartedly, supports me in my dreams. So thanks for letting me know it's not you. Bye.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:28]:
Yeah. Yeah. Quick filter. Mhmm. Yeah. Save some time.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:46:33]:
Love it. So these were the 5 fears. We have fear of oh, my notes. Okay. Fear of failure, fear of regret, fear of commitment, fear of inadequacy, and fear of judgment.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:52]:
Yeah. I do wanna talk real quick before we wrap up about why you might want to find these symptoms within yourself, confront these fears, and actually pursue the thing that you might be feeling, like pursuing your truth, that little inner voice that's whispering to you, I don't belong here, or go, or whatever it is that you hear in your head. It's sort of, like the opposite of the symptoms that we mentioned in the beginning, really, how you might feel if you get on the other side of confronting those roadblocks of failure. Yeah. Do you wanna start?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:47:31]:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Well, first of all, when you are in alignment, you feel more present. You feel more at peace. There's like more silence in your mind. There's, you feel more embodied. Like, your because your mind, your soul, and your body all want to be where you are.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:47:53]:
So it makes everything easier. Not saying life becomes easy, but life is easier because you're not lying to yourself. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:48:02]:
You don't feel that need to pack your schedules. You're so busy that you can't think of anything, and then drink a whole bottle of wine at night and do embroidery while you watch YouTube on your projector in your living room. That was so specific. That was me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:48:17]:
And, again, I wanna say that you can do embroidery and watch YouTube when you pursue truth. You just do it from a different place, where you're just doing it for joy. And you do add her for numbing. Right? It's important to mention.
Rachel Meltzer [00:48:32]:
Yeah. Yeah. There was nothing wrong with my hobbies. The wrongness was in, overconsuming it and revenge procrastination against my bedtime and overconsumption of all of the above to numb myself. Yeah. I now can, like, have free time after work and not freak out. And I used to have this thing where I would, as soon as work was over, because I forced myself to work 10 to 4 as much as possible so that I'm not overworking myself. Soon as 4 PM hit, I used to have this anxiety of, like, what am I gonna do with the rest of my day? Oh, no.
Rachel Meltzer [00:49:07]:
No. No. And my thoughts would happen, and I would freak out. And I felt like I needed to be doing something. I need to have something on my schedule with my friends. I need to be, like, out paddle boarding or rock climbing or, like, or or numbing myself with alcohol or social media or whatever I wanted to do. Mhmm. I don't feel that anymore at all.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:49:26]:
The the feeling of contentment is powerful. I remember after 1 week on the Pacific Crest Trail, I had to overcome so many obstacles in order to get there. And I was just standing there looking at the view, and I thought, I am so content right now. I could die. Yes. 1st is, like, so many days where I would go to work and be, like, I can't wait for the weekend to come around and look at myself in the mirror and think, like, if this is my last day, if this is my last week on earth, like, what the hell? I've missed out. I I have regret I'm gonna have if I keep going, I mean, I have regrets. Like, major regrets about all the things I haven't done.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:50:12]:
Mhmm. Yeah. And that's one of the, there's like there's been research about what, people who are about to die, what they regret, and one of them, one of the things they regret is the things they wish they wanted to do, but they were too afraid to
Rachel Meltzer [00:50:26]:
do. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:50:29]:
And, you know, we talked about how regret is not that big of a deal, but, like, a lifetime of regret, of I wish I was more courageous.
Rachel Meltzer [00:50:40]:
That hits different than Yeah. Oof, I regret moving to Massachusetts or, oof, I regret quitting that job. You know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:50:47]:
Yeah. Oh, that's true. Else? What are the other benefits, Rachel, of pursuing your truth?
Rachel Meltzer [00:50:54]:
You're gonna have more energy because you've you don't have to spend all that energy pushing down that little whisper in your head, and you don't have to spend that energy masking and performing that person that you feel like you should be. The energy thing is huge for me personally. I am exhausted when something is wrong. And until I solve that problem, I will continue to be really tired.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:51:23]:
Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:51:23]:
And this is something that I've now picked up on as a sign of something being wrong. It took me a long time to learn this. And actually, initially, that exhaustion was diagnosed as clinical depression for me. And, honestly, as soon as I got out of when I had that diagnosis, as soon as I got out of that career and decided, you know what, I'm gonna pursue freelancing, and I'm gonna hike the Appalachian Trail, It all shifted. The depression lifted. I had so much energy. I would work, like, 12 hour shifts at 2 to I would work, like, 7 hours at one job opening a coffee shop, and then I would go close the gear the outdoor gear shore store in the same mall across the parking lot every single day, 6 days a week, and then go hike on the 7th day and prep for my Appalachian Trail through hike because I was so stoked
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:52:15]:
again. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:52:15]:
And I thought before that, when I was in that other career, when I was so exhausted trying to keep up with, like, applying for law school and working in a law office and working on campaigns, I thought that I was, like, ill, that there was something I mean, I do have health conditions, but not like that. I was so unbelievably tired. It was hard to just go to a 5 hour shift at the law office to push paper in an office with no windows.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:52:42]:
And that's like we we mentioned moon swings and stuff like that, but I think depression is an important one. I've seen it with so many of my clients who are who get diagnosed with clinical depression. And then when as soon as they start owning their truth, I had one who was, like, clinically depressed, smoking weed all the time. And then when she decided, actually, I'm gonna start the podcast I've been wanting to start, and I'm gonna train to become I I don't want to go into details because it's personal. Just like you, her depression disappeared. So maybe, you know, depression is a real thing, but in men in more cases than we think, I think it's only misalignment.
Rachel Meltzer [00:53:24]:
Yeah. I completely agree because every I've experienced it multiple times in my life, like, so many times. And every time just finding my purpose and changing something in my life that I you know, sometimes it takes a little effort to uncover what's wrong and the thing that you need to change. But once I figure it out, I'm I'm back. I'm off to the races. Like, let's go. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:53:52]:
100%. And, okay, so you're more present, more embodied, you have more energy, you also have more money, like we were talking about, because you stopped spending on a you stopped spending on a bunch of stuff you don't need, like the clothes example I was giving you earlier.
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:11]:
Yeah. The amount of money I spent on weed and alcohol. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:54:16]:
Oh my god. Both, weed, alcohol, online shopping. I bought I bought a bunch of shoes that I don't wear. So in the moments, it gave me
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:26]:
a boost. Eating out because you're too depressed to cook.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:54:29]:
Mhmm. So more energy, more money. What else?
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:34]:
You'll also have more time because you're actually gonna be more intentional with your time, and you're gonna wanna be more intentional with your time, and you will have the energy to be more intentional with your time. You'll be doing things that actually fit into your life to support you well. Like, I no longer spend 6 hours a night drinking in front of the television. I usually spend that time, like, working out, making myself a nice dinner, going for a walk. I love walking my neighbor's dog. It's my new favorite thing. Oh. I really want a dog, but I feel like, you know, now's maybe not the right time, and they're elderly, so I just start walking their dog.
Rachel Meltzer [00:55:10]:
It's awesome. So good. 3 days a week.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:55:13]:
You also stop hanging out with people that you don't really like. Like, friends that you used to hang out with, you kinda feel forced to no. That that shit's over. You're only gonna hang out with people that light you up. So, like, not just more time, more energy, more money, but also better relationships.
Rachel Meltzer [00:55:31]:
Yeah. Totally. Relationships you
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:55:32]:
feel excited about. People who support you. People who inspire you. Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:55:37]:
I think it's also helpful to note with relationships that you're excited about that light you up, sometimes these are virtual. Like, I've actually spent quite a bit of time on FaceTime with people that I made friends with on the Internet Mhmm. That were now long distance friends, and we support each other. Same. And, yeah, listening to more podcasts, watching more YouTube videos. Like, I used to love watching YouTube videos of van lifers, like vlogs before I started doing van life. And I didn't really have a lot of friends where I was because I had just moved there, and I was feeling pretty lonely. So I watched a lot of fan life videos on YouTube, and that was so motivating.
Rachel Meltzer [00:56:14]:
And the communities that a lot of those people create, you can make friends. You know? Like, I made friends with other van lifers who were watching those van life YouTube videos and then met them on the road in real life. So that was really fun. Amazing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:56:26]:
So many people think you're limited to, like, your old friends from high school, from college, and then you evolve and you have nothing in common anymore. But you're not limited to those people. You can't now, especially with the Internet, you can make friends all over. Like, I became friends with you, I became friends with Allison. I'm also on the podcast all through the Internet.
Rachel Meltzer [00:56:48]:
Yeah. And if it makes you feel any better, I literally am not friends with a single person that I went to high school or college with.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:56:54]:
Yeah. It's not, I'm not
Rachel Meltzer [00:56:56]:
saying there's anything wrong with those people, but I just I'm not friends with any of them anymore. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:57:01]:
Yeah. It's okay to let go sometimes if it doesn't bring you as much as it did, as much as it used to. Okay. So we talked about the symptoms that you're out of alignment. We talked about the most common barriers to change. And we talked about why it's actually worth facing those fears and pursuing your truth. Now we wanna tell you about the retreat that we're hosting in October to help you do this. We're what we're gonna do, it's called the Brave New Path Retreat.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:57:33]:
It's taking place October 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th. It's 4 days. And it's it's for those of you who feel lost, feel like you're going in circles, you're not being your authentic, unapologetic self. In this intensive retreat, we're gonna help you get clear on what you want, where you wanna go with your life, what direction you wanna take wholeheartedly, and then we're gonna teach you tools to to manage those fears. To get to know your fears and figure out how to manage them so that you don't just give up at the first sign of a challenge. So that you don't, like, run back to comfort. To come someone who's like, yes, This is the kind of life, epic, meaningful life I want to lead. These are my new friends I do it with, and I feel supported because I have those people, but also because I I have learned new tools.
Rachel Meltzer [00:58:28]:
Yeah. Yeah. If you're looking for a weekend getaway that's sort of artist retreat meets summer camp, where you can have deep, honest, hearts to heart with other people who are in really similar positions to you where you might even make a really good friend for life and also learn the tools to build the life that you actually want to live and, you know, go for a hike and have a pizza party and eat s'mores around the campfire too, then this is definitely for you. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:59:01]:
I'm excited. It it's taking place, an hour and a half from Montreal where I live in the mountains and the forests of Canada. So all you have to do is fly to Montreal, and we're gonna drive you. There's a shuttle from the airport to the chalet. It's a high end, modern chalet, full of natural light, and we're gonna drive you back to the airport. You can also fly to Burlington if it's easier for you, or drive. It's also an hour and a half from Burlington.
Rachel Meltzer [00:59:34]:
Yeah. I'll be driving up from Massachusetts, through Vermont. So Yeah. I'm excited. I can't wait to see you guys there.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:59:43]:
I can't wait. If you want to book your ticket, you go to selfgoatnerds.com/retreat. Selfgoatnerds.com/retreat. Do it now. You have until September 1st, but do it now so it doesn't sell out.
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:00]:
There's only 6 spots left. Yeah. There's 2 spots in a shared room, for $800 or you can get your own private room for a
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:10]:
$1,000. Right. And there's a a payment plan you can pay in 2 installments instead of paying the whole, full thing if it makes it easier for you.
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:20]:
Yeah. I love a good payment plan.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:23]:
Mhmm. And I can't fresh
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:24]:
in my pocket.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:25]:
The goal the whole goal of this experience is that you leave feeling, like your inner fire fire has been reignited. Like you have been reintroduced to who you really are. So many people fall into, autopilot. You just live life, you know, you just Monday to Friday, you do something nice on the weekend, you start work again, and you get bored. You get disconnected from what used to excite you. You get disconnected from your enthusiasm, from your creativity. And this weekend, that weekend is going to be a moment to reconnect with that part of you.
Rachel Meltzer [01:01:05]:
Yeah. If you're feeling those 5 symptoms of misalignment, this is definitely for you. And if you're related at all to those fears and the things that we talked about in this episode, this is like the mini little slice of pie, the little cherry on top of your sundae. This podcast was that
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:01:26]:
Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [01:01:26]:
In comparison to the retreat. The retreat is the whole Sunday, and this is just a little cherry on top. So
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:01:34]:
And if you're like, but Marie, Rachel, I have a, a wedding that weekend, or it's too expensive for me, or it doesn't fit into my schedule, but I still really wanna do this work. I also offer, an 8 week course all of September October where we're gonna do that work, but online. We're gonna meet every week for 8 weeks. You're going to get coached. It's called the courage to start new and it's it's more affordable as well. It's $280 if the retreat's not in your budget. You can check the, this course at selfgopenerds.com/courage. Again, it's for the same people.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:02:18]:
We want the same kind of result. But it's gonna be online. And then for those of you who want the in person magic, who want the, the bonfires, who wants to who want to see the the forest in autumn, it's it's amazing here in autumn.
Rachel Meltzer [01:02:35]:
Right already.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:02:36]:
Bright yellow. It's magical. Thank you. Self goatnerds.com/retreat.
Rachel Meltzer [01:02:42]:
I've worked with Marie online before as well. We became friends because I used to be Marie's client. Yes. So if you wanna get to where I am no. I'm just kidding. Yeah. 10 out of 10 recommend working with Marie, even virtually. She's amazing.
Rachel Meltzer [01:02:56]:
So
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:02:56]:
Oh, thanks, Rachel. I my life story started funny. We started messaging on Instagram and then one day we spoke on the phone and I just remember yelling at you, like, come on. Because she had she had, like, these limiting beliefs. No. This doesn't make sense. This is bullshit. Here's what here's the truth.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:03:16]:
We got 1.
Rachel Meltzer [01:03:17]:
I think. What type of a
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:03:18]:
Everybody needs a pep talk. And then she hired me. Best ones. Then she then you hired me to yell at you every week. Every week. Every week.
Rachel Meltzer [01:03:27]:
Oh, yeah. You give the best pep talks. I love to use Maria as my, like, annual reset. I hire her for a few months at the beginning of every year so I could get back on track. It's so
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:03:36]:
helpful. Amazing. Okay. Well, thank you so much everyone for listening, all the way here. We wish you all an amazing week. Hope you're taking away 1 or 2 gems from this episode. Please let us know. Reach out on Instagram at self growth nerds for me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:03:56]:
And what's what's your Instagram?
Rachel Meltzer [01:03:58]:
My Instagram is at rachelhmelzer. It's the same on Instagram, threads, LinkedIn, and it's also my email, rachelhmelzer@gmail.com. So if you wanna reach out to me, I'm active on
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:04:09]:
all these platforms. Sweet. Okay. Bye, everyone. Big frog. If you love what you're hearing on the South Girl Nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on selfgrowthnerds.com or message me on Instagram at self growth nerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:04:48]:
Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.