Episode 141 - Best Hits: How to Use Journaling to Change Your Life
Getting in the flow of journaling can be awkward at first when you don't know how to use this tool to your advantage. In this episode, I'll help you unlock the potential of this powerful tool to overcome insecurity and boost confidence. Join me as I share how a daily 15-minute journaling practice can lead to real-life changes.
Topics
Understanding oneself better through journaling.
Techniques and Methods for Journaling
Identifying patterns and making informed changes.
Using journaling to gain awareness of oneself.
Developing a deeper relationship with oneself through writing.
Practicing self-care and providing the support one needs through journaling
Living more intentionally through daily reflection and goal-setting.
Links
👉 Craft your Big Vision with this 15-day Journaling journey!
▶️ Watch my new YouTube video series "26 Weeks of Journaling Prompts for Self-Growth Nerds"
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the Self Girl Nerds podcast. I'm your host, Marie, a courage coach, creative soul, and adventure seeker. Since thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019. I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions, and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello, nerds. How are you? As you may hear in my voice, I have a very low level of energy today. I have been ill, and so I was planning to record podcast episodes for you, but I'm in need of a lot of rest.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:55]:
So I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes, and it's all about journaling and how this tool can change your life. There are seasons of my life where I don't use journaling that much, But these days, it has been essential for me. I go everywhere with my journal. There's a lot of Hard things going on in the world and also challenges in my personal life that need to be processed, And my journal is where it happens. It's where everything is allowed, where all of me can come out. It can come out messy. It can come come out wrong. But without my journal, I would feel like, a computer when the hard drive is full.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:40]:
I just wouldn't function as well. So this episode is for you if you're curious about journaling or if you've been doing it but it feels forced or if you've been struggling with perfectionism. I'll tell you all about the mindset in which I approach journaling, how you can get started, and what the immense benefits are. So enjoy the episode. And if you've already listened to it when it came out almost a year ago, Send it to a friend who could use the help. Okay? I am sending you lots of love. We will pass the mic to Marie from the past, and I will go back to a horizontal position and talk to you next week where we'll be back with a regular episode. I really look forward to it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:30]:
Okay. Bye. Okay. So let's jump into today's topic. I wanna talk about journaling. I love journaling, and I know many of you find it awkward and don't really know how to stick to it, so I wanna share my thoughts on on that. So I'm gonna start with 5 reasons why I love journaling and how I personally use it. Then I'm gonna tell you about what not to do and give you a few techniques to make journaling easier.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:59]:
Alright. So the first reason why I love journaling is because it helps me understand myself better. There's a method that I teach my clients that was super helpful for me in the beginning of my healing journey, and it's the energy spark and energy drain method. So what I would do is at the end of every day, I would make a list of everything that sparked energy that day and everything that drained me. As you might expect, there was a lot More things in the 2nd list. A lot more things that drained me. And so I started getting curious, and I started seeing patterns. The same kind of things would come back all the time.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:45]:
And in order To change that, I first needed to understand what was going on inside of me. Otherwise, You're just shooting arrows in the dark. If you're unsatisfied with your life, but you're not sure why and where what's hiding underneath your dissatisfaction, then you're gonna make changes, but the they're not gonna meet be the enlightened, well informed changes. That is really important when you're wanting to make big moves because, Let's say sometimes I meet people who wanna change careers or change jobs, and they're worried that they're gonna make the wrong decision because they think, what if I'm just as unsatisfied in that other job. And to me, that's a sign that you don't know yourself properly, that you're kind of taking a guess. And, yes, we have to do trial and error. That's a very important part of of discovering yourself. And also there is inner work that you can do to truly get to the source of what's not working for you right now to make sure that as you move forward, you do so intentionally.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:04]:
Understanding your patterns gives you your power back. You're not blind to yourself. You see yourself clearly. If, for example, you notice that you're always annoyed with the same kind of people, well, instead of blaming it on Damn, blaming it on surface factors, you get to ask yourself, what does that say about me? What is this really about? What can I learn about what I value and what I need more of or less of in my life? For example, if you have a lot of complaints about your boss. This can be an incredible teacher. You can instead of complaining about everything that you think they are doing wrong, You can ask yourself, okay. This rubs me the wrong way. Why? What does that say about what I value? What does that say about what I need? Notice how I bring it back to myself.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:04]:
So instead of just, writing in your journal. They said this and they did that and they. This happened and that happened. You can use what drains you to gain awareness of who you are, and that is a big part of how I managed to create a life that's aligned with who I am at my core. But in order to create a life that feels like home to you, you have to know yourself deeply. The second reason, which kind of blends into the first, is that Journaling helps me develop a deeper relationship with myself and also develop the ability to fulfill my own need. So I don't know if you've ever heard the the quote. I'm gonna paraphrase it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:57]:
Self care is caring for self the way you wish others did. So if you're feeling off, if you're feeling sad, You don't need to wait for a friend to ask you what's going on because you can ask yourself in your journal. Whatever question that you wish your loved ones would ask you, you can ask yourself. You can have a conversation with yourself. Whatever it is that you wish you could hear from your lover or you wish your parents had told you when you were a child. You can tell yourself those things in writing in your journal. This might sound crazy, but actually can be so healing. Sometimes I feel like my hand is writing without me thinking about it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:49]:
Okay? It takes a few pages for me, but after I've been journaling for, like, 1 or 2 or 3 pages, juice. It starts happening, and I feel like it's an unconscious part of me that takes over. And sometimes what the What comes out is like, it's healing to my soul. The third reason is that journaling can help you live more intentionally. And the method that helped me do that specifically that I also so used for a few months. There's 4 questions that you ask yourself every morning. The first one is how do I feel right now? What am I showing up with, basically? The second question is what's the shift I want to make, If any, the 3rd question is, how will I make that ship? And the last is, why is it important to me? So I'll give you an example from my own journal. It's an old journal from when I was still an illustrator.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:51]:
So September 7th, I wrote that I was showing up in a good mood, but with underlying feelings of fear. The shift I wanted to make was I wanted to be in a place of trust and fun. How will I make that shift? I wrote that I would put some music on. I would make myself a smoothie and a coffee, and I would go work at a coffee shop. And why is it important for me to make that shift? I wrote because I wanna inspire people and make them want to work with me. It sounds so Simple. Right? And it would only take me, like, 2 to 3 minutes to do in the morning. But what that does is it gives Your your brain, your unconscious brain, like a sense of direction.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:43]:
Instead of leaving it up to how we wake up in the morning and just letting it be this way. We get to intentionally choose, okay, now what do I wanna create in my life today, and it gives you a sense of direction without you even noticing. And there is also a cumulative impact of doing this every day For, like, a few weeks or a few months, you start feeling like you're in control of your life. So go and try it. The 4th reason why I love journaling is that it gives me a space where I can dream as big as I want without any fear of judgment. I can write everything without being afraid that Someone's gonna think, oh, who does she think she is? Or, she can't do that. And I can write down these dreams, see how they make me feel. See if they like me up.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:40]:
I found a page of my journal from a few months ago, and what I'd written down is a list. I wrote 1,000,000 or more by 40. Well paid amazing employees, 4 days a week, lot of time off, Travel all the time. Wonderful family with help have published a book. Investing in other people's dreams. And I remember the moment that I write those things down, it felt like the stars were aligned. It felt like a moment of truth. Like, This dream, this vision for my life lights me up like it feels like a calling, Like a full body yes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:27]:
Sometimes when it's just in your head, you don't get to experience that. Whereas when you write it down, put it out on paper and you see the words, and you get you can get this, like, electrifying buying, feeling in you when it is right for you. Okay. And the best thing is also when you look back at old journals where you've written your dreams and all of your dreams have come true. Thruhiking the Pacific Crestara was a massive dream for me, and it came true, which leads me to the 5th reason why I love journaling. It keeps track of your growth. You get to look back on your past self with so much funness and to be so proud at all the progress you have made. Because sometimes when you're in the present, you forget how much progress you're making.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:24]:
Kind of like when you're hiking, you're like, Oh my god. This is taking so long. This this uphill is never ending. But when you get to, like, to the top of the mountain and you look back and you see, well, that was true on the PCT. You look back and you see The summit that you were on, like, 3, 4, or 5 days ago, you have this sense of pride and you get to see how far you've come. This is the same with journaling. I have journals and journals for the last, like, 15 years, and I love to look back. I'm gonna give you an example.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:58]:
I was telling one of my clients Yesterday, she's starting a business, and she was telling me how she struggles to show up for herself and Take this project seriously because she has a lot of self doubt. And I was remembering this moment where I was in her shoes. I was in exactly the same place, and so I looked for it in my old journals this morning. And I found this list I had made, and there's 2 columns. On the left side, There's not taking myself seriously, and on the right side, there's taking myself seriously, what that would look like. So I wrote in the right hand side column, working on a small messy desk, And then I drew an arrow to what I would look like if I took myself seriously and wrote, having a clear desk, good efficient tools, a laptop stand, a good computer, a monitor, a printer, and I I mean, have all of those things now. I also wrote down in the right column, having the kitchen of a college student. To be fair, That hasn't changed that much.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:17]:
I'm getting better at it. We are getting better at it, but still, it's not the, the clean space I had envisioned. I also wrote scrolling my phone until late at night with an arrow to turning screens off, truly relaxing, recentering, nourishing myself with journaling, reading, Bats, walks, friends, and sex. And I think that's a success. It's not perfect success, but I think I got much better at it. Instead of thinking, I don't feel like doing this, I wanted to get to a place where my thought would be, How will I succeed? So this is not quite how I think now, but my thought now is this is what's gonna get done. So when I look at my tasks that I've planned, instead of thinking, I don't feel like it, like I used to, I tell myself, This is just what's gonna get done in order to succeed. So that's also a major evolution.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:20]:
And let's see. Can I give you Another one as an example? Oh, I'd written, being afraid of big, serious project, and then I wrote, believing I can do big projects. That's definitely checked. Not taking care of my skin and taking a moment to nourish my skin. I'm getting better at this. I actually ordered a a pack of Glossier products, skincare products that I'm really excited to try. I I'm actually really good when I have the products, but when they run out and I forget to get some more, then I fall off track. And one last example, I wrote down having no work method and a messy computer.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:04]:
And what I wanted to get to is taking the time to set up files like a pro and have an organized way to work. And now, I mean, My weeks are super well planned, and I follow my calendar almost to a t. So that's definitely been a big change. Alright. So, yes, that was to show you an example of how you can use your old journals to celebrate the progress yet that you've made. And one thing not to forget is make sure you keep the dates. Now I put dates everywhere in my journals, but I used to not do that. So it says September 7, but you don't have a year.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:42]:
So I'm like, I have to try and guess based on what's written when that was. So these are the 5 reasons. The first one was it helps me journaling helps me understand myself better and take my power back. It helps me develop a deeper relationship with myself and fulfill my own needs instead of waiting for others to say the right thing. The third reason was it helps me live my days more intentionally. The 4th, it gives me the ability to dream big without fear of judgment. And 5, it helps me keep track of my progress. Now your journal is the ultimate safe space.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:26]:
There is no safest place for you than your journal. No one is going to look at it. Okay? If you're afraid that someone's gonna look at it, you should question your relationships. Question, the kind of people that you hang out with. And in order to make sure that this remains the safest space in your life. Here are 3 things that you must avoid, that you must not do. 1st, You do not need to be polite with your diary to say hi and goodbye. I used to do this when I was A teenager, like, dear diary, sorry I didn't write to you yesterday.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:09]:
I Was very busy with my family. You don't need to do any of that. You don't even need to say hi. You can just show up and write down what's frustrating you. Like, There there's no need for an introduction. There's no need to tell your diary. I'm gonna explain more about that later. I also used to do that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:28]:
It's like your diary is not a person. It's just the place where you can unravel. That's the first thing. No need to be polite. You also don't need to have a pretty handwriting. Like, that changed my life. When I decided that there can be ugly, messy handwriting in my journal, it freed Mia. You'll need to, like, find the right words.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:49]:
I can skip words if I want. I can, like, make a 3 word sentence. The what's It's most important is I understand what I I mean in the moment. Right? Sometimes, like, my brain thinks faster than my hand can write, So it doesn't really make sense, but what matters is that it makes sense in the moment to me. Okay? It's just getting out my unconscious on paper. So forget about pretty handwriting if if If it helps you, get an ugly journal as well. If you're the kind of person that's like, well, my journal is so pretty. I wanna keep the inside I'd pretty as well.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:27]:
If that limits you, then just get an ugly journal so you won't be so scared to make the inside ugly as well. And last, there is no beating yourself up if you skip. If you decide that you wanna journal every day and you skip a day, you just start again. It's not about perfection. No one's grading you. You don't need to perform. You're doing this just for you. And if you skip a day, don't Make it mean anything awful about yourself.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:56]:
Don't make it mean that you're unreliable or or something like that. I know you guys do. Just be like, okay. I skipped a day. Let's start again. If there is no berating yourself, it's gonna be so much easier to start again. You wanna make Your mind like a safe space to be. And if you're always telling yourself, like, you should have done it yesterday, you didn't do it, it has the opposite effect of what you want.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:21]:
Kind of like having a boss that's always criticizing you, makes you not wanna go into work, makes you dread work. Well, you have that boss inside your head if you beat yourself up all the time, and it's gonna make you not want to attempt. Activities like journaling or anything that you might skip, like anything that you might do imperfectly and beat yourself up over. If you have a a harsh boss inside your mind, you're just gonna avoid those activities altogether. Okay? Because you wanna avoid the pain. Instead of avoiding those activities, you can make a promise that you're gonna have your own back no matter what. You can fire the bean boss in your head. Bring in new management.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:09]:
The kind of boss that's like, just do your best, and that's okay. You're making progress even if you skip a day. That's okay. I trust you. That kind of boss. Okay. So that was what not to do. Don't be polite with your journal.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:23]:
Don't use pretty handwriting, and don't beat yourself up if you skip. Now a few techniques to make it easier. Simple. Keep the journal in the same spot. Do your best to try and keep it always in the same spot, like, next to the coffee machine or next to what I do is I leave my phone in the kitchen at night because I have an alarm clock. You can go get 1 too, by the way. So I leave my phone on the kitchen counter plugged in, and I leave my journal next to it. So I know that in the morning, what I do, and that leads me to my 2nd tip is habit stacking.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:58]:
I do my journaling with my coffee. So this is a concept that, is talked about in Atomic Habits, a book by James Clear, and The name is pretty self explanatory. Habit stacking is when you do different things 1 after the others or at the same time so you get used to when you're drinking your coffee. Okay. When I drink my coffee, I'm also journaling. You put them together like a puzzle, and it makes it easier for your brain to implement that new habit. So keep your journal in the same spot. For me, it's next to the phone charger on the kitchen counter.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:33]:
Habit stack. Stack it with an utter habit that you already do every day. And last tip that's soup that's been super helpful for me is to get a guided journal. So if you're the kind of person that's like, I don't that just don't know what to write, then it's an easy fix. Just get a journal that already has questions in it. So for example, right now, I'm doing the 5 minute journal that I really love. It's the same thing every day. Every day, you write the date, then you have a quote, a daily quote, then you write what you're grateful for, what would make today great, so what you wanna accomplish that day.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:14]:
There's 3 things. And at the end of the day, I get to circle the ones that I did, and then there's daily affirmation. Then you can go back to your journal at night. You can write down your highlights of the day and answer the question, what did I learn today? Again, this helps me live super intentionally because when I write down what would make today great, these 3 things are at the top of my brain every day. And 98% of the time, I get all 3 done because I'm, like, excited to circle them at the end of the day because I made a promise to my self at the start of the day, and I wanna keep it. It makes things simple, and it gives me a focus. Alright. And another one that I've used that I really loved is called the best self journal.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:02]:
In the best self journal, there's a spread for each day. So On the left spread, it's like your plan, your schedule for the day, and then there's also this morning, I'm grateful for. On the the right side, there's your daily goal and your top 3 targets. So what will make today a win for you? Very similar. Then there's a quote. Again, very similar. And then at the end of the day, there's lessons learned, opportunities for improvement. There's wins, so the they call it the Bragg zone.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:38]:
And at the and there's tonight I am grateful for. In March of 2018, I was grateful for my home, my sister doing well, and the laughs I had today. It's so cute to look back. So that's the best self journal. There's also of the 5 minute journal. And if you want a free option, I created 1, and you receive a prompt every morning for 2 weeks in your inbox. It's called craft your big vision. So you're gonna receive a different prompt every morning with a story from me, and that's gonna help you get the momentum going.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:17]:
After sitting down with your journal every day for 2 weeks, then you'll get you'll be better at doing it on your own. This journaling journey is all about getting to know yourself, reconnecting to who you are, to what you want, what you wanna change in your life, what you want more of, and the obstacles that are currently getting in your way. So just go to self growth nerds.com, and it's right there on the homepage. You can sign up to craft your big vision. And as soon as you sign up, it's going to start the next morning. You're gonna get the 1st prompt. And by the end of those 2 weeks, you're gonna have newfound awareness of a lot of clarity and a sense of pride and almost like when you meet a an old friend that you haven't seen in a while, that can have that impact of feeling like you're re reconnecting with a deep part of you. So just go to self growth nerds.com, and it's right there on the home page.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:26]:
You enter your name, your email address, and you're all set. So that's it for today. This was my ode to journaling. I hope this is gonna start like a new adventure and self discovery for you. Write to me if you still have, like, resistance to journaling, and we can chat about it. Write to me on Instagram at self growth nerds. I love to nerd out about journaling. So if you have any questions or if you're feeling stuck, just let me know and we can have a chat.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:57]:
Alright? Have a beautiful week, nerds, and I will talk to you next week. Bye. Hey. If you love what you're hearing on the Self Growth Nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage To make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on self growth nerds.com or message me on Instagram at self growth nerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, Don't wait. Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.