Episode 166: Reduce Stress by Changing How You Think - The Guidebook with Rachel Meltzer
This week, tune in to a captivating conversation I had with my friend and former client Rachel Meltzer on her own podcast: The Guidebook. We dive deep into topics like prioritizing self-care and designing your own life. Plus, get exclusive insights into the 4 transformative frameworks that helped Rachel feel calmer and more confident, and start using them to enhance your own well-being as well.
Topics
Building and reprioritizing self-care in your life
Finding Inspiration and Managing Emotional Ups and Downs
The value of coaching
4 frameworks for changing the way you think
Embracing freedom and designing your own life
Links
👉 Want to dig deeper into what you learned in the podcast? Let's work together! 👈
Learn more about Rachel Meltzer on:
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the Self Growth Nerds podcast. I'm your host Marie, a courage coach, creative soul and adventure seeker. Since thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello, nerds. How are you? I'm doing okay. I'm starting to feel better I would say, but the last few weeks have been intense. A member of my family who had been ill for a while asked for, I don't know what the exact term is in English, Medically assisted death.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:02]:
So it's legal here in Quebec, Canada, and it's when when you're suffering a lot and you're still conscious, you can not everyone can, but some people can have access to this, quote, unquote service, and so you get to decide when you're going to pass away. It's the second family member that's been through this process, and while it is heartbreaking, it's also I find, beautiful in a way because you get to choose exactly how you're going to spend your last moments. It's very intentional. So because that has taken up time and emotional energy in the last few weeks, I have been focusing on minimum baseline when it comes to work. All the energy I had left was channelled towards coaching my clients, and everything else had to go on the back burner. And let me tell you, I had to remind myself almost every day that that is okay, that our level of productivity cannot be the same from one week to another. It's just completely unrealistic. That's what we've been used to.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:19]:
That's what we've been expected to achieve in our system, but that is not in alignment with the uncertain nature of our lives. If we truly wanna be present in the challenges that come our way, we've got to be able to adapt. Also we've got to be able to adapt to the different rhythms of the seasons, the different rhythms of our menstrual cycle, for example. So the last few weeks have been a good practice in letting go and focusing on what truly, truly matters. All this to say, I haven't recorded many solo episodes recently, and I do miss doing that. It's going to I'm gonna have the the capacity to start doing that again very soon. Today, we are doing something very different. I was invited on the podcast of my friend and former client, Rachel Meltzer.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:18]:
She's been a guest on the Self Girl Nerds podcast a long time ago, and she has her own podcast called the guide book. It's for risk takers, nature lovers, adventurous souls, And that's pretty much how I would describe you as Self. So I thought I'd introduce you to her podcast by sharing the episode where we have a conversation. We're so comfortable together that it just flowed, and it was so much fun. We went deep. We laughed a lot, and I shared 4 frameworks for changing the way that you think, 4 frameworks that I taught Rachel, when when I was working with her that had a a big impact in her day to day that she still uses all the time. So I think you're gonna have a good time listening to this, and you're gonna get a lot of value as well. Now before I hand it over to Rachel, I wanna remind you that I have availability for coaching.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:18]:
So if you've been curious to work together, you can book a free call where we're gonna talk about where you're stuck, what you need help with, and I'll let you know what my approach can do for you, and you'll be able to decide if you wanna move forward. Okay. So if you wanna learn more, just go to selfgirlnerds.com/audacity, and you'll be able to book a call right there. Okay. Have a beautiful week, and now let's dive into my conversation with Rachel.
Rachel Meltzer [00:04:54]:
Yay. Okay. So, do you wanna introduce yourself, your name, what you do, what you like to do for adventures outside?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:03]:
Sure. My name is Marie from Self Growth Nerds. I am a coach. I am a book nerd. I love to go outside. I used to be a thru hiker, but now I would say I'm a lot more mellow. I love to walk by the canal. I I live in front of a canal.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:21]:
I I love to take long walks by the canal or by the river or go on little hikes, but then end up, like, in a cozy cabin afterwards.
Rachel Meltzer [00:05:31]:
Hell, yeah. I love that. I feel like you've given me a lot of permission to not be an extreme adventure anymore. I think there's a lot of, like, pressure on social media, especially when you finish the thru hike to, like, go and do all these big things. And I pushed myself so hard for years to, like, do these really intense climbing trips and ski trips and, like, feel like I need to go on another thru hike. And in reality, like, I just want to go for a walk in my neighborhood and the occasional hike and like camp in my car and not try hard, you know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:01]:
Yeah. You don't always wanna be trying hard. Sometimes you just wanna be able to enjoy nature without any hassle. Yeah. Although I am feeling the pull this summer. This summer I wanna go on canoe camping trips.
Rachel Meltzer [00:06:13]:
Yeah. That would be cool. I like that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:16]:
That is what I'm feeling called towards. So
Rachel Meltzer [00:06:20]:
Hell, yeah. I love the, just following what you're feeling instead of I don't know. The external pressure is not helpful sometimes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:31]:
Exactly. Last summer, I didn't I didn't go camping once. I didn't wanna be in a tent. That was the last thing that sounded appealing to me. But next summer, I know there's gonna be a lot more camping. So, you know, just depends what you feel like in the moment.
Rachel Meltzer [00:06:46]:
Yeah. Yeah. We go through phases. I used to be fully obsessed with climbing. And lately, like, I just paused my gym membership, my climbing gym membership for the first time in, like, I don't know, since 2019. And it feels so insane because it kinda became, like, a part of my identity even though I don't. Mhmm. I know it's not necessarily, like, useful for it to be a part of my identity in some ways because it starts to limit you.
Rachel Meltzer [00:07:14]:
Like, I have to go to the gym even when I don't want to. And now I'm like, oh, I feel good. I haven't thought about the gym. I haven't thought about climbing in like 2 weeks. I feel great.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:25]:
Yeah. It's amazing that you give yourself this permission. It's freedom.
Rachel Meltzer [00:07:30]:
It's so much different. We think of freedom as, like, these things that or I do at least I've seen on social media or, being able to do all these big awesome things, but freedom can also just be going for a walk whenever you want and not doing things you don't wanna do.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:47]:
Exactly. You know this reminds me of like when we were teenagers trying out like, oh I'm gonna be goth. I'm gonna be gothic for 6 months. And then like the next day you wake up and completely change your mind.
Rachel Meltzer [00:08:01]:
Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I like the experimentation of it all. It's been Beautiful. Yeah. Find all these little pieces of Self, try things on. I'm trying to learn roller skating and it's a very different vibe from anything I've ever done before.
Rachel Meltzer [00:08:18]:
I thought because I skied, I would like to be good at skating and that's not the case. You don't get to what was that you said you posted a video the other day that like, oh, I just loved it. I really resonated with it. It was like, you're not entitled to, like, skip, being incompetent. Is that what you said?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. You're not entitled to skipping the phases of incompetence. Yeah. When you start something new, like, most people just are so uncomfortable, at sucking at it, and they wanna be good at it right away. Otherwise, they make it mean it's not for them. But there's a lot of value in having the strength to be like, you know what? I'm not gonna be good at this, and that's fine. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:02]:
That's just super normal. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:09:06]:
I loved that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:07]:
Just like kids. That's like it. You don't care. Like, they they fall down, they fall flat on their face. Like, they they don't mind.
Rachel Meltzer [00:09:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. And like anyone you see that is successful that you're like comparing yourself to or looking up to, or like, I wanna be like them. All of those people went through those phases of incompetence to get there. You don't get good by doing good all the time.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:34]:
Mhmm. Yes. Exactly. I love, I I always think about what's her name? The the founder of Spanx. She's like a super businesswoman. And she says that when she was growing up in her family, her dad would always say, like, would always ask around dinner time, how did you fail today? And it was celebrated to fail. If you don't fail, it means you don't try. So she grew up learning that you needed to try things and fail at them.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:04]:
And I think that's one of the reasons she became so successful. Wow. Sara Blakely.
Rachel Meltzer [00:10:10]:
Sara Blakely. Yeah. I've heard Yeah. I've, like, listened to a podcast interview with her before, but I could not remember her name to save my life. Wow. I really like that. That's nice. That's a good journal prompt too.
Rachel Meltzer [00:10:24]:
Yeah. Well, let's go back to the beginning. You've had a few careers now and almost all of them were entrepreneurial. I'd love to hear more about how you've evolved through each of those and like where your entrepreneurial spirit really comes from and what it thrives on?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:46]:
Yeah. That's a great that's a big question. Well, my entrepreneurial spirit definitely definitely comes from my parents because they always had a business. They met and then a year after they met, they they founded their business. So, you know, when I was born, they already were working together and building together. And that's what I saw growing up, and that's what I found so inspiring. And my dad was always was the vision well, I say was. He still is.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:14]:
My dad is the visionary. Like, he always told me, you've got to design your own life That's amazing. However you want to. Mhmm. So that's where it comes from. And my different careers, I studied I did 2 degrees, 1 in television, but I never worked in television.
Rachel Meltzer [00:11:39]:
Wow. I didn't know that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:40]:
And then one in no. Fun fact. Weird fact. And then I went straight to graphic design. I studied graphic design. And then my last year studying graphic design, on my final project was the branding of a coffee truck that I started with my ex, one of my exes, when I lived in London in the UK. We wanted to open up like a coffee shop slash creative space. So we thought, let's just start with a coffee truck and that's gonna you know, we're gonna learn the ropes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:17]:
And so we would go to markets. We would go to festivals. Like, I went to Glastonbury, one of the biggest music festival in Europe. And, we did that for for a while. And just when we were about to open up, like, a proper coffee shop, I decided to come back to Montreal, to Canada. I missed home too much. Wow. I was like, when you open a coffee shop, you're like putting roots down.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:46]:
Mhmm. Because I I I used to love my customers. Used to love my customers. And I'm like, okay, if I open a coffee shop, this is not like a short term project. Mhmm. Right? So I freaked out, and I decided to come home. Run home. And so then I had kept doing some some, like, graphic design on a as a freelancer.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:10]:
So I I when I came home to Canada, I kept freelancing as a designer for a music school in London. So I would work off of my kitchen table as a freelancer. And then in the sideline, I was building my contacts in Montreal. Local like getting to know people locally and then I transitioned to working with people here. Design studios, design agencies. And then eventually I was like, oh, I think I should try to be an employee at least once in my life.
Rachel Meltzer [00:13:42]:
Really? And,
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:44]:
and and that lasted 8 months. I was hired somewhere. And after 8 months, I was like, that's it. I'm pulling the plug. I'm gone. And then do do I keep going, or do you have any questions for me?
Rachel Meltzer [00:13:56]:
No, this is great. I think it's helpful to see, like, it's not a straight shot to where you are now. And I think that that's
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:06]:
true for
Rachel Meltzer [00:14:06]:
most people. And it's, I don't know, it's kind of inspiring to see the, like, darts back and forth to all these different things. I mean, I've had the same experience I've gone through. Like, I went to school to be a teacher and a politician, and I tried teaching. I tried politics. I tried law. Didn't like any of it. Had a mental breakdown, became a barista.
Rachel Meltzer [00:14:29]:
Now I'm a freelancer. So it like, we all go through these, like, winding paths, but we have in this this image in our mind that it's a straight shot or someone you see who's further along than you, like, got there and knew how to get there, and that's just not true. It's almost never true of any human that they got somewhere as a straight shot, and it's cool to see all these different ways that you get to where you are.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:55]:
Mhmm. I love hearing people's stories of how they got to where they are. And, I mean, whenever I meet someone who's too attached to the idea that it should be a straight shot, they're limiting themselves Yeah. To what they could. Yeah. They're shooting themselves that way.
Rachel Meltzer [00:15:11]:
Exactly. Yes. Yeah. There's a right way.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:15]:
There's a what she should do. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I studied engineering for 6 years. I have to keep going in that in that direction. And I I don't wanna minimize that. I know it can be really hard, to free ourselves from cultural expectations and cultural pressures.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:33]:
But I think it's necessary.
Rachel Meltzer [00:15:35]:
Yeah. Yeah. Totally.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:36]:
So anyway, that's a big philosophical conversation. Back to, back to my journey. Eventually, so I was a freelance designer and illustrator. Towards the end of that career, I was doing a lot more illustrating. I actually decided to go
Rachel Meltzer [00:15:55]:
I found you because you're doing illustrations for the PCT and people who are
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to be the Brene Brown of hiking.
Rachel Meltzer [00:16:07]:
That was my goal. For you. What a great phase.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:14]:
I started illustrating, like, the all the physical not the physical, the psychological and emotional preparation of doing a thru hike. And yeah. That's how many people I think found me on Instagram. And then I went actually to throw hike the PCT. And then when I came back, my life was like changed. I I really wanted to I had proven to myself that I could do the impossible. Yeah. So I was like, what? What's next? What now? I want more freedom.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:50]:
So being a freelancer is cool, but I was creating for other people. So I wanted to create for myself and I wanted, you know, more freedom in my schedule. I wanted more creative freedom. I wanted more human connection. So I started dabbling and trying different things. I created an online course for aspiring thru hikers. And then eventually that led me to sign up for coach training and became a coach that way. And I at the beginning I was working with a lot of people that wanted to become through hikers, but then started helping them with their marriage, with their career transitions.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:27]:
And, you know, it, everything opened up on all aspects of life, all big transitions and big life decisions.
Rachel Meltzer [00:17:36]:
Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:36]:
I just love to work with nature lovers, with creatives, with weirdos and people that just want to that just don't feel like they fit in and they want to create create their own path. Design their own life, like I was talking about earlier. Mhmm. That's what I'm passionate about.
Rachel Meltzer [00:17:58]:
Yeah. I love that description of of the people you like to work with. It's so it makes so much sense for you. It's so cool.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:06]:
Does it match? Does it match with you?
Rachel Meltzer [00:18:08]:
Yeah, I think so. I think so. And it's cool too. Because like, I guess I never realized that your parents were entrepreneurs that work together as well. And I had the same experience. Like, my parents have shared a desk, shared an office on and off my entire life. They've had, like, 5 different businesses, and I couldn't even imagine I mean, I could imagine being an employee, but, like, it was very normal. I couldn't imagine entrepreneurship not being an option.
Rachel Meltzer [00:18:37]:
And a lot of people grow up not thinking it is an option, you know, and thinking like that that's an alternative path or option, you know, and thinking like that that's an alternative path or something. And even like my parents' parents frowned upon them when they first started their businesses, is because they were like, we can't see success, not that you won't be able to support your kids and like all this stuff. And they struggled sometimes for sure. But like, they are very successful now and they own the building that their car repair shop is in and they run a thriving business and they, like, own multiple buildings that they rent out to other businesses and it's wild to see how much they've grown while I'm also growing my business and see, like, even though they're your parents and they're older than you, when you're doing these things at the same time together, but separately sort of, it, you just realize like, oh,
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:28]:
they're still growing. And I hope when I'm their age, I will also still be Growth, you know? Mhmm. Yes. So true. There's no limit to your growth when you're an entrepreneur. It's like, it's the ultimate growth journey.
Rachel Meltzer [00:19:42]:
Yeah. Yeah. Because you have to grow yourself in order for your business to grow. Like it directly affects your business.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:50]:
Mhmm.
Rachel Meltzer [00:19:52]:
100%. What made you decide that you wanted to, become a certified coach? And, like, how did you decide when it was time to invest in your business like that? Like, to take a course and work with kids.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:05]:
That's a great question. I was teaching this, thru hiking course and I remember this man telling me about how he wanted to go on a long distance hike but he was scared of leaving his wife behind, of, like, what would happen if he did. And I didn't have the tools back then to help him through that. Yeah. That's awesome. I felt this I wanted to, like, lead him to a perspective shift, but I didn't know how. So, I was like, okay. I need I need help.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:42]:
I need extra tools. And that's when I started talking to people who had trained as coaches and doing some research and very quickly decided to sign up. I've I've found like a coaching school and it was starting in 10 days. The the the the course was starting in 10 days. So I was like, okay. Let's do it. Let's jump in. Wow.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:01]:
Wow. Also, like, I was in love. I shouldn't say in love, but I was fascinated by the podcast Unfuck Your Brain Yeah. By Cara Lowentheil. I was like, her job is freaking amazing, but I was not realizing I wait. I could actually do that job too. And then one day that's what happened. That's what always happens for me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:21:21]:
I'm like, this is amazing. Yeah. And then I realized, oh, I can actually do it too.
Rachel Meltzer [00:21:29]:
I love that. I love that so much. It sort of actually is the perfect segue into the next thing I wanted to talk to you about, which is that through my I've been doing coaching with you. We've done it 2 years in a row now, Q1, which is such a good way to start the year. And I love all of these tools that you've taught me during our coaching sessions, and I'd love to share some of them with the people who are listening to this podcast. And that reminds me of this idea of like removing I don't know from your vocabulary and removing the shoulds and asking better questions. Like you're really good at asking better questions. And one of those questions that has helped open possibility for me is like the, how can I? Like, instead of thinking like, I need to make $5,000 this month.
Rachel Meltzer [00:22:16]:
I don't know if I can. And starting to spiral into all the worries and all the reasons why it might not work and all the things you have to pay for thinking instead, how can I make $5,000 a month and opening it up to like, Oh, I could change this about my business? I could optimize this about my outreach. I could like, you get all of these possibilities. And I actually listened to a podcast episode of unfuck your brain, like, a really long time ago. I think in, like, 2020 when I was just, like, on a walk in North Carolina. I remember the trail I was was on. Like, I can picture it in my mind because sometimes, you know, when you listen to a podcast and it was like so meaningful for you that you can like put yourself back in the moment you heard it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:56]:
That is so powerful. That happens to me all the time.
Rachel Meltzer [00:23:00]:
Yes. And it was like this particular episode. And every time you remind me of the better questions you can ask and asking yourself, how can I, I think back to like that exact moment when I realized, like, oh, actually, I could probably do some of these things? And it helps break away from, like, say, when you're scrolling on Instagram and you see someone who's doing what you wanna do and you feel jealous or you feel envious or you feel like, I can't possibly do that. How could I do that? And instead, you realize, like, that could be me one day. How the fuck do I get there? Let's go. You know what I mean? How do you
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:23:38]:
It's like,
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:39]:
why do you I would see it as yeah. Yeah. As a fuel. I say, like, go find someone you're jealous of and and ask yourself, okay, what what's the permission they're giving themselves that I'm not giving myself and how can I get more of what they have that seems to to light something up in me? But yes, so true. Asking yourself better questions like the quality. There's a quote I think, by Anna Snedin about that. The quality of your questions is gonna determine the quality of your life. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:11]:
So many people, I hear their questions. It's their yes or no questions. Is this going to work? Ah. And or our brains our brains have a negativity bias. So if you ask the question, is this going to work? Your brain's gonna go look for all the ways it won't. And, oh, do I have enough money for this? Yes or no? The your brain is gonna go with no. Instead of thinking, okay, how can I, you know, if I really wanna do this, how can I find the money? How can I maybe make more? Yeah. Like you said, how? Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:46]:
Instead of asking, is this gonna work? How can I make it work? Yeah. I never saw a good idea
Rachel Meltzer [00:24:54]:
No. Sorry. Go ahead. Is it
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:55]:
a good idea? Is it a good idea to hire Rachel? Or is it a good idea to hire Marie? It's like, okay. How can I make sure I get the most out of this investment? How can I make sure I get the most of working with this person? It opens up your creativity.
Rachel Meltzer [00:25:13]:
Yeah. Yeah. It feels expansive. It feels like you're, there's more space to move around and you can sort of like explore without pressure rather than like, is this going to work? Puts a lot of pressure on you and the results of whatever you're going to do too.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:39]:
Mhmm. Yeah. And it's like, well, maybe it won't work the first time, but then it can work a little bit better the second time and then work even even better the Nerds time and eventually you'll get there. It's like yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:25:51]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:52]:
Being a lot more playful being a lot more playful in our approach to life.
Rachel Meltzer [00:25:57]:
I love that. I think, it reminds me of also, like, just listening to those voices that are in your head, like your inner child and and whoever else is sitting at the table. One time we were in coaching and you pulled out your whiteboard and you're like drew a big table on it. And you're like, who's sitting here? Who's talking to you in your head right now? And we like individualized all these voices in my head that were because of having all these conflicting thoughts of like, I just wanna like do arts and crafts and watch TV and be lazy, be lazy, quote unquote. And I also have this voice in my head that's like, I have to do work right now. We need to make money. We're not gonna be able to pay rent and all these other noises. The work police.
Rachel Meltzer [00:26:42]:
There's like the grown up and the teenager. And then there's just someone in there that's just like rolling around on the floor, screaming. And that was so helpful to, like, visualize that way because I had never thought about it like that. Like, to me, it's just like, this is all my voice, and it's all important to listen to. And in reality, it's just thoughts. Like, when you can get that separation of, like, you and your thoughts, it just makes it easier to like detangle and deal with and find peace and calmness and like determine what to do in a rational and, like, nice way.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:27:25]:
Exactly. It's, it's they're they're clusters of thoughts that form different parts of you, like sub personalities. And I remember that exact moment you came into our session together and it was like everyone around the meeting table is shouting. And you can't just you can't focus on anything. I mean, imagine that. Like, it that was that chaos that was going on in your mind. And that's one of my favorite things to do with my clients because it's like we can only move forward if, if all the parts of you, all the staff members in, like, the company that is your mind, if they work collaboratively and peacefully. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:28:10]:
Yeah. Just just like in the real world. Mhmm. It's like, well, actually, this is inspired by the, IFS, Internal Family Systems, which is a therapeutic model that was invented by Richard Schwartz. And that that's also inspired by systems thinking. So systems thinking in a family or in a workplace. If in a workplace, everyone's shouting at each other, they cannot go any they can't make progress towards their vision. And it's the same thing with us and our own brains.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:28:40]:
That's why it's so important to figure out who's in there and what they need in order to to feel heard and calm down and be
Rachel Meltzer [00:28:52]:
collaborative. Yeah. It was so nice to go through that with you, and I was, like, in a tornado of a brain space. And it's funny too because, like, obviously, coaches need coaches. Like, I know you've worked with coaches before. Obviously, you've done life coach school, and I needed that from you that day. And it's so funny because like a week later, one of my clients came into one of our coaching sessions and was like a full energy tornado. And I showed her that same thing that you showed me.
Rachel Meltzer [00:29:22]:
And I asked her like to do it as a journal prompt later. And she messaged me on Slack later and was like, thank you so much. I didn't expect to be like that. I'm so sorry. And I was like, you don't need to apologize. And then she was like, these are all my voices. It's amazing. I can do things now.
Rachel Meltzer [00:29:37]:
And it's like, if you walked into, like, a real room and all those people were standing around the table screaming at you and you're supposed to be doing a project with them, would it get done? And absolutely not. Like, of course, it makes sense that this is how we would deal with this.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:29:53]:
Yeah. You'd be like, woah. Okay. Everybody sit down, and we're gonna speak 1 at a time. Okay. 1 at a time. Okay. Robert, you speak first.
Rachel Meltzer [00:30:04]:
It's like the preschool teacher being like, quiet coyote, everybody.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:30:10]:
Yes. Oh,
Rachel Meltzer [00:30:12]:
man. Yeah. It also, I have 2 more that I wanna go over with you that we went over in coaching that I loved. But before we talk about that, I just thought of something that I was thinking of during the first point that we were talking about, about asking the right questions and, and using envy and jealousy as fuel. I have found that using envy and jealousy as fuel is much, much harder with people in my own industry, for example, and I am not afraid to say this at all because it's just the truth. I have always been envious and jealous, jealous, envious and jealous of Alex Cattoni from the Copy Posse. Cause she's just like on fire. She's amazing.
Rachel Meltzer [00:30:57]:
And of course she is. She has, like, an entire team of people. She has a degree in marketing and broadcasting and everything she is doing. She is extremely experienced and educated in. She's been making mistakes and growing for 10 years before she even started the business she's doing now, which I see as very successful. Like, she's so many steps ahead of me. But it is so hard for me to use that as fuel and see like, what is she doing? What is she giving Self permission to do? Because it just it it feels too I don't know. It hits too close to home.
Rachel Meltzer [00:31:27]:
It feels too threatened. There's something about it where I'm just like, I just can't look at this as, like, compare something that I can use to strive for. Like, I just can't do it. So I've switched to people in other industries and looking at what they're doing and how they're using tools individually. Like for example, my latest obsession is Liz Wilcox, who you turned me on to with her email marketing and the way she writes her copy. And like at the end of the day, she is a marketer and she is a great writer. And I love email marketing and I do a lot of it for e commerce, but I have struggled with email marketing for my own business and my own website copy and all these things. And it's been so helpful to be in her group and learning from her and seeing what she's doing and using that as a piece of the puzzle for success.
Rachel Meltzer [00:32:17]:
And looking at other people who are doing like coaching for other industries like you, for example, or looking at other people who are doing content writing or whatever. Finding these people, like, I love following travel content creators and travel writers because they are doing things that I wanna be doing and they are doing them well, but they're doing it in a different industry. So it doesn't feel so I don't know what I don't know what it is or why that's easier. But I will say, like, if you're really struggling to fuel, to use jealousy and envy as fuel and get out of that comparison trap, it can be really helpful to step away from your industry or people who are super similar to you or your direct competitors and look at people in other industries and niches to find some separation. It's kind of like how you separate your thoughts from yourself at the table like that. And and you do it with with the the content you're consuming, the people you're looking up to. Does that make sense?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:33:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I've also tried, like, not following any coaches that were too similar to me. Mhmm. Because then it always takes you back to I don't I don't know. It keeps you away from how from focusing on what you wanna create from, like, creative freedom. But it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is going on.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:33:40]:
Yeah. I think it's great advice though to to unfollow as much as possible to people that are doing the same thing. It's not helpful.
Rachel Meltzer [00:33:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. And anything that feels shitty to you. Like, I don't fall I used to feel compelled to follow these people on Instagram because they were popular or because they were in my industry or because so and so is on whatever podcast or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, there was just like a social pressure almost, especially in the thru hiking community. There's, like, popular thru hikers and every thruhiker follows them. And it's just like, actually, if I just don't wanna follow them, I'm just not going to. And if this makes me feel bad, I'm just not gonna follow it.
Rachel Meltzer [00:34:17]:
And that has been so much better. And I also go on social media so much less because there's not as much to scroll through. So I just, I get bored after like 3 minutes because I just don't have any followers turned off.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:29]:
That's amazing. You have Marie Kondo ed your social media. Just keep just keep what sparks joy.
Rachel Meltzer [00:34:37]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:39]:
Oh, man.
Rachel Meltzer [00:34:39]:
Okay. It's actually like a Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:34:43]:
I'll I'll just add to to to end with, like, it's just an act of self love. You're, like, telling yourself I don't deserve to feel crappy about myself. Let let let me just remove everything in my life as much as possible that makes me feel crappy. Yeah. That's amazing.
Rachel Meltzer [00:34:57]:
You have to, if you want to like have creative energy, I feel like you need to do that. Like that clean out, you know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:35:08]:
Yeah. We have like, there's a limited amount of spoons of energy that we have. So if you have 10 spoons in a given day and you spend, like, 5 spoons worrying about other people and how they are better than you or further ahead than you, then you've wasted 5 spoons on something that is not useful. Yes.
Rachel Meltzer [00:35:28]:
Truth. The spoon theory. Everybody around here, when I moved to this town, for some reason, like everybody here knows spoon theory and talks about it, and it's so helpful. Where does
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:35:39]:
it come from?
Rachel Meltzer [00:35:40]:
I don't know. I'd never heard of it until I moved here. I like it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:35:45]:
I keep hearing about it. I don't remember where where it came from. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:35:49]:
I have no idea. I'll have to look that up after. Maybe I'll put it in the in the notes. I'll put it in the the outro for everybody. But it does bring us to a really good point of, like, we just talked about this the day before yesterday, how hard and, multifaceted self compassion can be. There are so many ways to be compassionate towards Self. And there are so many things that being compassionate towards yourself can do for you, but it can be really challenging for some of us. And I guess like we've both been on this journey.
Rachel Meltzer [00:36:31]:
So, but I feel like there's so many entry points and so many ways you can, like, find your way. I guess, like, what is the, what is one of the starting points you most commonly find for self compassion among the people you coach and, and maybe even with yourself?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:36:51]:
That's a a good question. I would say it goes back to what we were talking about, the different characters around the table. And as You're you're basically You're the CEO. You're the person who can hear all these different parts of you. And your relationship with them is going to be what has the most impact on the results you create in your life. So for example, if you've got this, part of you that you don't like and you keep telling that part of you to shut up. Like for you, one of the parts that you struggle with, which one would you say you struggle with the most? I Is it the teacher or the work police?
Rachel Meltzer [00:37:38]:
The teenager. I always wanna tell the teenager to shut up and I'm always like, you're right, work police. I am lazy. Okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:37:45]:
So the part of you that wants to create key things and just chill. Yeah. Okay. So your relationship with them, that's what I encourage my clients to to look at. Do you, as the CEO, tell that staff member, like, shut up. Just get in line. How would that make someone feel? Like, if you were actually that person in a company and that's what your boss was to tell you. Would that make you wanna show a lot better for them? Not really.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:38:15]:
So it's not gonna it's counterintuitive because you're at the end of the day, what you want is to have a good time. You wanna feel good in your day to day, and you think this is the way. You think that, like, shouting at this these different parts of you and trying to repress them is going to to help you have bet a better time in your life, but it actually does the opposite because it doesn't make you wanna show up. That's why, like, you might struggle to wake up in the morning if, like, your inner workplace is like a a shit show. You know? And sometimes I I compare it to a a a company. Sometimes I also talk about reparenting. Imagine, like, a kid being told by their parent, because that's probably what happened for many of us, like, when they were struggling, being told by, like, their busy overwhelmed with the parent, come on. Suck it up.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:39:04]:
Just suck it up. No time to cry. We gotta go. We gotta run out the door because I gotta get to work to pay the bills. Mhmm. And so that's what many of us have been accustomed to growing up. That's what we've integrated, and now that's something we have to rewire. And it's just about noticing the way we talk to ourselves, and slowly but surely reparenting ourselves and telling ourselves what we needed to hear back then.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:39:33]:
Yeah. Yeah. Which is like which is I'm not saying like go all the way and just be nice to you. Like like just cuddle yourself. No. It's like, okay, what's going on? Tell me what you need. It's like loving firm and loving self talk. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:39:51]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of challenging to notice it and to know what to do next, like to know how to talk to yourself when you've spent your whole life being like, get up, get out of bed, let's go. We're already late, having a hectic day. You don't deserve to cry and stop and have feelings right now. Like, all of those things that we've internalized, it's like, if that's what you're used to saying, then, like, what what do you say instead? Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:40:25]:
You need like yeah. Well, the the turning one one of the turning points for me is when I was, I had my nephews, my former nephews. A nephew that I lost in my separation. So sad. I'm laughing, but it's actually quite sad. I have these 2 nephews.
Rachel Meltzer [00:40:45]:
If you don't laugh, you cry.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:40:50]:
When I was with my former partner, I had these 2 nephews and one of them was a baby. He was crying in my arms. And his little brother was 2 years old, and he came towards us. And he, like, put his little hand on the baby and he said, it's okay. I'm here. Marie's here. Mom is here. It's okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:41:13]:
And I was like, wow. He's 2 years old. He's doing that. He's so soothing, and that is what I need to do more of with myself.
Rachel Meltzer [00:41:23]:
I never thought about that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:41:26]:
That's what we all deserved throughout her whole childhood that many of us didn't get. Right? And I think that we've we've got this, like, internal drought of, like, unconditional love. Lack of lack of unconditional love. And, like, what's the and just positive regard. Unconditional positive regard. So yeah. For me, like, I just copy pasted that sentence. And sometimes I'm just sitting there telling myself, it's okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:42:04]:
It's okay. Marie is here. I, like, sit I sit in my bath. I have, like, moments I can think of of, like, thinking about, me freaking out about something that maybe I posted on social media that might be on like an unpopular opinion, and I'm scared that I'm going to get, like, a negative feedback. So I'm just panicking, sitting there in my bath, and telling myself, it's okay. Here are the people that will still love me if this goes wrong. And then I was like naming out loud the people in my life that would still just be there and love me anyway if everything was if, like, my reputation was going to go to pieces. That's
Rachel Meltzer [00:42:54]:
necessarily, like you needed some, some compassion in that moment. But like, if I were in that situation, I would just be like, it's fucking fine. You're gonna be fine. Who cares? Who even cares anyway? Who cares? And you just get in this like aggressively, like, push it away mindset, but you realize like, oh, actually I just need some compassion right now.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:43:14]:
Mhmm. But I was not it was not always the case. I had to do that that work with with coaches and with my therapist. And it's it's been a journey in the last 3 years ish. Yeah. Like that's that was not my go to before. So that's really something that you can change that you can practice and and change like one little step. One little cringey moment at a time.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:43:39]:
So that's the thing. People tell me like, just cringe to talk to yourself that way. Yeah. It's cringe just because it's it's unfamiliar. Mhmm. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I don't think it's I think it's the best.
Rachel Meltzer [00:43:54]:
Yeah. Yeah. Just takes practice.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:43:57]:
And the way like, the example that you gave of how you would react, it's all in the mind where what we want is we want to calm our nervous system down. And that is our body. So we we don't wanna just reassure ourselves with, like, positive thoughts. We we want to the the the knowing that it's going to be okay to seep into our pores. Like, to seep into us on a cellular level. That's why I always, like, put my hand on my heart and try to really feel it in my body that it's okay, that I am still loved. Even though even if I might be rejected professionally or get, like, negative feedback from someone, I'm still safe. I'm still I'm not dying.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:44:44]:
But I need to know that in my cells. And you've said that you have a meditation you used to help you with that. That can also be useful to just learn it's like you learn a new language. So just like you would if you're learning Spanish, you would listen maybe to Spanish Podcast or Spanish movies. Well, if you're learning self compassion, you've got to listen to self compassionate voices. Yeah. It's true. Maybe that's a coach.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:45:13]:
Maybe that's like a meditation app, stuff like that.
Rachel Meltzer [00:45:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. I do talk about it with you, and I talk about it with my therapist, which is helpful. Helpful. And then I also listen to on Insight Timer, the app. I listen to Sarah Blondin. She has free self compassion guided meditations. And every single time I do one of those, I end up crying because she'll be like, put your hand over your heart.
Rachel Meltzer [00:45:38]:
And then she'll like, tell you what to say to yourself and you have to like, you don't have to, but she says, like, repeat after me out loud. And she tells you what to say to yourself. And that's really the only extent of learning what to say to myself that I have ever had. And it freaking works, man. It is so helpful. By the end of one of those meditations, I've like cried all the tears I need to cry. I'm calm. I feel loved.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:03]:
My body feels better. Mentally, I feel better. But, like, it is scary to sit down and do that. And I do have to, like, be in a closed room with, like, headphones on and assume that no one can hear me. And, like, it feels it feels embarrassing. And I think that there is a sense of shame about it. There's like I was actually listening to a podcast today about the difference between shame and guilt. Like, shame is something that you hold, like, I do I did this.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:35]:
I I am wrong.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:46:36]:
I am bad.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:37]:
I am bad.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:46:38]:
I Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:46:39]:
And guilt is like, you did this bad. You did this wrong. And it's very much I was, like, thinking about this because we just talked about self compassion the other day while I was listening to this podcast on my walk this morning. And I was just thinking, like, it is shame. Like, this embarrassment about speaking kindly to myself and compassionately compassionately to myself is shame. And I was actually, like, using bad self talk out loud the other day when I was having a bad day. And my partner was like, I would never let somebody else talk to you like that. Do not talk to yourself that way.
Rachel Meltzer [00:47:16]:
That's not okay. And I felt so I was like, what do you mean? Like, it it was like that embarrassment was, like, countering my embarrassment of of, like, being nice to myself. Like, you can't have both. And so I was just like, which one should I be embarrassed about? And my brain was all scrambling, and I was like, really just thinking about it for days.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:47:41]:
Yeah. When like someone doesn't wanna enable the way you shame yourself. I remember that with in my former relationship too. There was a moment where I tend to shame myself when I'm not working hard enough, when I'm not like, I consider I'm not productive enough. And my partner didn't have that at all. If he didn't do anything at work one day, he would just rest in the evening. And I was like, how do you dare?
Rachel Meltzer [00:48:07]:
Where do you get that?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:48:09]:
You deserve to rest after not doing anything. And it made me so angry because I would have shamed myself in that in that moment and he did not. And I was like, what is that? You can't allow yourself such indulgence. But then but
Rachel Meltzer [00:48:30]:
I feel you. I would have been you. I would have been you in that situation. Mhmm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:48:35]:
But I've changed a lot since I've realized. Like, when we feel so strongly, it's because it touches a place in us that needs healing. Yeah. I think I think there's a lot of embarrassment because we've associated, rest to weakness, and we've associated vulnerability to weakness. So, like, us being kind to ourselves is vulnerable. And so we go self kindness equals vulnerability equals weakness equals shame. Yeah. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:49:07]:
Yeah. Especially in this society. You need to to to revolutionize. Can I say that? Rebellion. Revolutionize. Yeah. Revolutionize. Yes.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:49:19]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:49:19]:
You'll have to like reprogram yourself.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:49:22]:
Yeah. Vulnerability and rest is strength. Yeah. Or strength. Yeah. It's you're just making the code. That's my job. That's what I love to just changing the code for a much more sustainable way of being.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:49:40]:
Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:49:40]:
You're good at re helping people reprogram. I love that. I also there was one other one that I wanted to talk about that really helped me because as you might know, and I don't wanna say this in a negative way, I just believe it as the truth. Like I'm kind of a dramatic person. But I guess my partner likes to say I'm an enthusiastic person instead because he's like, you don't need to be so negative about yourself. Don't be mean to yourself. And I'm like, but I I am kind of dramatic.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:50:13]:
I love your partner. I love your partner.
Rachel Meltzer [00:50:17]:
He's in reframe. It's very helpful. But one of the things that we've talked about a few times is, like, doing the math versus sitting in the drama. And the drama is and I've done, like, I've I've literally written charts of, like, math drama and like let myself get those spots out on the drama side of like, oh, I'm afraid. And this is this goes along with asking the right questions. Right? Like, Oh, I'm afraid that like, I'm not gonna get enough clients this month. And if I don't do it this way that I was taught how to do it, then I'm not gonna get it, get enough clients. But like in all reality, you could do it a different way and you probably will get clients.
Rachel Meltzer [00:50:54]:
So like, you have all these worries about like, whatever it is you're struggling with. And then on the other side of things, it's like, okay, let's ask the right questions. How many clients do you actually need to get? How much money do you need to make? Where will those clients come from? What how many assignments do you need to execute to do that? How are you gonna put it on your schedule? Like, all those little, like, realistic numbers things that really make it more, like, tangible and manageable. Like it is so much more tangible to think, I just need 3 clients who want 3 blog posts a month each, and each one of those packages is gonna be like $2,000 And so I'll make $6,000 a month if I get those clients. And this is how I'm going to get them by sending this many letters of introduction. I know they have a 25% success rate, so let's just do the math backwards. How many do I need to send in order to get that goal? How many follow ups do I need to send? I already have a network. And that thinking is like leading towards taking action towards the things that you want and need in a logical way that's like, yep, I'm gonna do it.
Rachel Meltzer [00:51:53]:
Versus sitting there being like, I don't know if I can get clients. I don't know how to do it even though you totally know how to do it and it's gonna be fine.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:52:02]:
No. Yeah. My clients always go, I don't know. I don't know. This is going on. I don't know. No. You know.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:52:07]:
You know. You're just freaking out. But let let's, like, put your 2 feet on the ground and and see what's happening. Another example that comes to mind, I remember, like, being in a session with a client, and they were telling me, I'm never gonna find a job. I keep applying, and I never hear hear back. I was like, okay. Tell me what are the facts here. Okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:52:29]:
Well, I applied to 3 jobs, and I got one interview. Okay. Okay. Maybe you need to apply to more. If 3 jobs leads to 1 interview, then maybe you need to apply to 6 jobs, then you get 2 interviews, and you double your chances of getting a job. Or maybe you need to apply to 9 jobs, and then you might get 3 interviews, and then you triple your chances of getting a job. But, yeah, our brains just wanna go in, like, the doom doom spiral. Doom spiraling, they find, like, comfort in doom spiraling.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:53:03]:
You've but you've got to learn and that's what I do with my clients. Learn to be like, no. Actually, what are the numbers? Because when you put the numbers down on paper, you're like, oh, actually there's not much to freak out about. I just need to keep taking action. It's gonna be fine. Which is what happens with you. Like every time you've done that, you're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. Totally.
Rachel Meltzer [00:53:28]:
Every time that exercise always works for me and I love it so much. Even when we're not like in session or whatever, I'll just I do it for myself. I do it for my clients as Self. And I have like a little template now, like a little chart that I just like fill it in and I'm like okay we're back. We're doing the thing we know how to do it. I do appreciate that like like, our live sessions are so helpful and Growth, and I love them every time. And they do, like, they I feel like there are a lot of ups and downs emotionally and, like, we your results go up and down a lot as well as an entrepreneur. And I mean, as a human.
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:11]:
And so I feel like by myself, it's like these massive, like, tsunami like waves. But with the coaching with you, it's like a little wave crashing into the beach that like a toddler could jump in, you know, like it's fine. Everything's gonna be fine. The waves don't get as big. But then also It's deeper. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:54:33]:
Go ahead. Sorry. I got
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:34]:
I got excited. No. You're good. You're good. Also. It is exciting. It also, like, you leave with the with the the bucket of beach tools where you can like build the sand Podcast or the rampart that like keeps the waves like less intense, you know?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:54:49]:
Your little bodyboard. You you've got your, like, the bucket of beach tools and your little bodyboard to ride the waves. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:54:58]:
Yeah. It's Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:54:59]:
It's We need de dramatizing the journey Yeah. Together. Yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [00:55:04]:
Yeah. You're very good
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:55:05]:
about that. Thank you. And I have so much you know, I have so much fun working with you. Be like, I love the the the challenge of you arrive and okay, how can we how can we bring some peace?
Rachel Meltzer [00:55:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. You're very much the peacemaker in my in my meeting room of the, the CEO and the, the teenager.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:55:29]:
And I, I think about what we talk about. One one other thing we talked about, I think it was with you this week, how our anxiety just looks for things to feel anxious about. It's just Oh, yeah. But like Nerds that the lighthouse Yeah. Just scans for things to worry about. It's just this energy that, many of us have within us that we wake up with in the morning, like, this anxious Nerds, and then it's like, okay. Where am I gonna channel this anxiety? And so instead of going for a walk, we're like, okay. I need to figure out a problem to fixate on.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:56:03]:
I experienced that recently. I've been experiencing that recently because I have I have a new partner. You're the first person I say it to. The first time
Rachel Meltzer [00:56:13]:
I say it, in public.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:56:17]:
Yes. Exclusive content on Rachel's podcast. Spicy. And this is probably the best, most healthiest relationship I've ever been in. And my brain goes, no. We must find what's going wrong or what could go wrong. And it keeps scanning and scanning and scanning, and there's literally nothing. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:56:40]:
And that that feeling is crazy. And I can see it now. I was telling Rachel, you have the same we've talked about this before. Like, you're also in a super healthy relationship. And if that's not something that you are used to, it's like this this, this feeling of scanning for problems and you have to tell Self, no. It's okay. It's okay. Let's go do something.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:57:03]:
Let's bake a cake. Let's, like, make let's do some arts and crafts, some key chains. Let's go for a walk because there's no problem to fix right now. Everything's okay. Yeah. Yeah, totally.
Rachel Meltzer [00:57:17]:
And it's wild.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:57:18]:
This awareness is so important because many people are going to self sabotage because they, they don't have the self awareness of being like, okay, it's just my brain scanning for issues when there are none.
Rachel Meltzer [00:57:29]:
Yeah. Yeah. I also feel like I'm not on birth control and I'm not on any, like, I almost just said psychedelic. That is not the right word. I'm not on any, like, antidepressants or antianxiety medications anymore either. I'm, like, clean. I just take supplements now. Who am I? Who is she? She's doing great.
Rachel Meltzer [00:57:47]:
But these things do, make it so that your hormones are a little bit more, dramatic, especially if you haven't been eating well because I've been moving, so I haven't been eating the best lately. And I just noticed that, like, the day before my period, my it's not me personally, but my hormones want to destroy my life. They're just like, there must be something wrong. I know this man doesn't actually love me. That is not true. Of course.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:58:19]:
He's pretending. He must have been paid or something. Or he's he wants something from me. I don't know what it is. Yeah. Me too. The day before my period. Like, we should have been taught that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:58:30]:
I don't know. Like, I've learned that way too late in life. That the day before your period, your hormones are just all the way up to the ceiling and they wanna ruin you.
Rachel Meltzer [00:58:41]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wish there was more literacy around, like, the female body for women. I didn't learn any of this until like 3 years ago, and it has been a journey to figure things out with, like, my hormones and my health issues. I didn't even know I had PCOS until, like, 3 years ago. And I've been dealing with having cysts since I was, like, 13. I just didn't know what it was.
Rachel Meltzer [00:59:04]:
Are you kidding me? No one told me. And my gynecologist was like, yeah, you should have someone should have told you this by now. And I was like, I just, our healthcare system's a mess, but regardless, like being able to have that tool and being able to educate yourself and know what to look for to educate yourself is like, just like with all the other things we talk about. Just having the right tools to be able to navigate what you're going through is is really what matters at the end of the day.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:59:33]:
Mhmm. Yeah. Exactly. Instead of going in circles and getting frustrated that you're not, that you're struggling, that you should be able to do it on your own. It's like, no, maybe actually you need a hand.
Rachel Meltzer [00:59:46]:
Yeah. I think it like, give yourself permission. Right now, I'm giving you permission to not do everything on your own. And if you think that I've done everything on my own, I can tell you right now for free that I have not. You're literally speaking to my coach right now. I go to therapy. I go to a coach. I've used multiple coaches to get to this point.
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:03]:
I've taken courses, like, ask for Self. I get the help that you need and, like, seek it out. And if you don't know what help you need, like, talk to other people who are doing what you wanna be doing and ask like, how did you get here? What help did you receive or seek out to get to this point?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:18]:
Yes. Such good advice. To me that's the best investment. I've invested so much in teachers and therapy and co coaching. It it's the best. Yeah. Because then it's with you for the rest of your
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:33]:
life. So worth it.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:34]:
You'll make the decision now. I think we, yeah, that's something we need to normalize.
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:39]:
Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:41]:
We are
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:42]:
we do not need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. We need to pull ourselves up with our our friends and mentors' hands. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:00:53]:
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Rachel Meltzer [01:00:53]:
Well, it was really great having you on the show today, Marie. I'm so glad we got to talk twice in 1 week. It feels very special. What a fun conversation this was. This was very fruitful. I think people are really gonna get a lot out of it. But but also you have other you have your own Podcast of other content. Do you wanna tell tell people where they can find you online?
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:01:14]:
Yeah. My podcast is called Self Growth Nerds, and my Instagram too, Self Growth Nerds. So that's pretty much it. Look for Self Growth Nerds. And, you can listen to my podcast or you can also book a discovery call with me on my website if, if you if all of this has piqued your interest. I'll be happy to meet you.
Rachel Meltzer [01:01:36]:
Heck yeah.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [01:01:42]:
If you love what you're hearing on the Self Girl Nerds podcast and and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on self Growth Nerds or message me on Instagram at self growth nerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait. Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.