Episode 171: The 3 Skills of Confidence
Are you ready to break free from confusion, procrastination, and self-sabotage? In this episode, discover the 3 essential skills you need to master to gain unwavering clarity about what you want and pursue your dreams relentlessly. If you're tired of playing small and ready to step into your authentic self so you can achieve your biggest ambitions, this episode is for you. Plus, you’ll get an exclusive introduction to my new group coaching program: The Confident Nerd School. So don’t miss out!
Topics
My background and journey to coaching.
Announcement of the Confident Nerd School.
Connecting with your inner voice and true desires.
Identifying unique contributions and purpose.
Overcoming societal expectations and embracing your individual path.
Building emotional resilience.
Links
👉 Make the second half of 2024 your best year yet! join us at selfgrowthnerds.com/school to learn more 👈
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the self growth nerds podcast. I'm your host Marie, a courage coach, creative soul and adventure seeker. Since thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello nerds. How are you? I'm doing so good because today, I have a big announcement to make that I've been keeping a secret from you, and I'm just really excited to finally be able to reveal what I've been working on. So if you've listened to my podcast for at least the last year, year and a half, you know that there was some healing to do in the last year. I left a long term relationship a little bit more than a year ago.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:13]:
And with that, I slowed down. I had a group coaching program before called Brave and Bold. But with my separation, I put that on pause. And I spent the last year just working with 1 on 1 clients. But now my energy is back, and I decided to go back to my first love, which is group coaching. So today, I'm introducing you to the Confident Nerd School, a 6 month program to stop playing small and finally go after your biggest ambitions alongside a small group of creative wordos just like you and me. So since getting certified as a coach, I have helped more than a 100 clients develop the courage to own their truths. And now I'm I have gathered all of it this expertise and all of my most powerful tools in one place.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:15]:
This program is for you if your life feels boring and, you know, more average than you had hoped it would be. That was me, like, 5, 6, 7 years ago. I remember hiding in the toilets at work, wondering if there was more to life than just endless weeks of 9 to 5. Like, by Tuesday at lunch, I thought this is long. I don't really wanna be here. The projects I'm working on, I just struggle to care about them. I felt and I I felt guilty about that. I was like, you've got everything.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:49]:
You should be grateful, but it just didn't feel meaningful enough. And I I was looking at other people who were doing things that I wanted to do, like starting a business, writing a book, and I just felt annoyed because I felt like they were just as smart as me, and some of them less, honestly. And they were just passing me by, and I just felt stuck in this this whole of self doubt, kinda just showing little parts of who I was and hiding my big ambitions because I was scared to own them. I was scared that people would think I was delusional or entitled, that I was like a princess for wanting more out of life. And then when I first discovered coaching, all of that started to change. The first time that I dipped my toe in the pool of coaching was my my friend introduced me to the podcast on Fuck Your Brain by Cara Lowentile. And it's because of her that I went to thru hike the Pacific Crest Trail. Because she said, what would you do if you were willing to be uncomfortable? And not she was what would you do if you were willing to be uncomfortable? And not she was not talking about, like, physical discomfort.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:08]:
She was referring to emotional discomfort. Because my fear was I I was I was so afraid of going out there and failing, and she made me question that. She was like, so what? So what? You would have at least tried. You would have given it a go. And that was the beginning of my transformation. When I cut got home from the PCT, I hired a coach. And while I was working with her, I started a a business helping people get ready for a thru hike. And from there, I decided to get certified as a coach so that I could help them with more than just that.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:47]:
So I could help them with big life changes and reaching other types of goals. So that I could have the tools to help them move through their obstacles. And now I've completely switched careers. I used to be a designer and illustrator. Now I'm a full time coach. I feel like my work has so much more impact. I feel more fulfilled. I also have so much more flexibility.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:11]:
It doesn't feel like a Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 kind of week. I just work when I want to and where I want to. I've also had the courage to leave a relationship that I knew in my core was, you know, it was good, but there was something missing. And now I've met the partner that I've wished for all these years. And I've also come out as queer, and I've started exploring the world of kink in the last year and ethical non monogamy as well. Basically what's happened is I used to be kind of a wallflower, didn't really know who I was and what I wanted. I was, you know, I was okay. I was happy enough.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:52]:
My life was fine, but I was just scared that I was missing out. That I would, like, get old and not have many stories to tell. And I wanted to feel proud. You know? I didn't wanna I wanted to feel like I had taken full advantage of my life. But I was just lost in what other people expected of me I didn't really know what I wanted and I got overwhelmed when thinking about all the possibilities, I didn't wanna make the wrong choice and then sometimes I started a bunch things but I didn't really follow through on any of them but now, I've become extremely clear about who I am and where I'm going. I'm honest about what I want and relentless in the pursuit of my ambitions. And that's made me feel so much more alive and fulfilled. Now I'm gonna tell you when the biggest shift happened.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:56]:
For me, it was when I started questioning everything I thought was impossible for a dork like me. That's how I used to see myself, kind of a dork. Like an artsy, clumsy dork. And while I might have been, for example, interested in business, I was like, well, I don't have the grit and the drive and the power to do such a thing. But then coaching introduced the notion of, you know what? Maybe I actually could. Maybe I could hike the Pacific Crest Trail, even though I'm far from being an athlete. Maybe I could start a coaching business, even though that would mean completely changing career, going back to school, doing something that I have no idea how to do. I started telling myself, maybe I could figure it out.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:48]:
And then I decided to actually try instead of worry. And with that shift is how I started to completely transform my life one step at a time. And I wanna tell you the 3 skills I had to master in order to get there. And those three skills are what I'm going to teach you in the Confident Nerd School and what you will spend 6 months developing. K? So the first one is self knowledge and a soul stirring vision. This one is all about reconnecting to your inner voice and getting real clear on who you are, what you're naturally drawn to, and what you're meant to do in this world. What your unique contribution can be rather than what has been expected of you, what you've been told that you're good at, and what made sense. Like, oh, you should just just go study engineering because that's what your parents did and you're kinda good in maths.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:56]:
No. We want to get to the core of you and figuring out how you can fulfill your purpose because that's gonna light up a much deeper sense of meaning and a stronger internal drive to move forward and overcome fear and obstacles on the journey. So that's the first skill. Instead of feeling like you're just another fish in the sea, you need to know what you bring to the party and how to use these gifts. The second skill is emotional tolerance to uncertainty. This is all about increasing your nervous system capacity to take risks. That is important because it will allow you to get out of stagnation and make decisions that are aligned with your truth, no matter how scary, because you know deep down that you can recover after setbacks. Chances are that right now, you tend to make safe decisions because you're afraid that you wouldn't be able to deal with the potential risk of failure, disappointment, or embarrassment.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:10:12]:
And the goal here is to expand your emotional tolerance to that possibility that you know that whatever happens you're going to be okay really you're gonna be okay on the inside and you're gonna figure it out on the outside as well. I'm gonna help you get to a place where you feel like you can take risks without sacrificing your inner stability where you can have a calm seat on the inside even though you're making big moves and taking chances on the outside. That is skill number 2. Emotional tolerance to uncertainty. And finally, the third one, the last one, is grounded, drama free thinking. This is developing the ability to separate facts from fears. This will allow you to reduce anxiety and to navigate challenges with a clear mind because what often happens is we're dramatic. We're dramatic and we focus on the worst case scenario.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:12]:
Everything that could go wrong and that means we don't even start or we stop really quickly because that's because of what we focus on. We we get overwhelmed by the stories that we tell ourselves so it's really important to be able to develop this ability to think more neutrally. To think with your feet on the ground. Otherwise, you're gonna be freaked out all the time and get exhausted really quickly. So these are the 3 skills I've developed in the last 5 years that have allowed me to change my life and that's what I'm going to teach in the Confident Nerd School. What I learned in 5 years, I will teach you in 6 months. Okay? So imagine being so clear and unapologetic about where you're going with your life that other people's opinions are just information that's more or less relevant depending on how important they are in your life. You no longer need to constantly ask for advice or permission.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:12:18]:
You you know where you're going, and you're moving forward. You also trust your inner voice so deeply that you can make scary decisions in your personal, professional, and financial life without completely freaking out, and you are able to try new things and to follow through on what you start because you put yourself first without feeling guilty and you're not an asshole to yourself when you make mistakes. Okay? I'm gonna give you examples of what this could look like. This could look like your intuition telling you to leave your job or to leave your relationship and you actually listen you're able to do it without excessive anxiety because you trust that there's something more aligned around the corner. This might also look like wanting to write a book or to start a podcast and doing it without too much worry about what people will think and whether or not you're good enough, because the creative process is just fun for you, And you know that you need to kinda suck at it before you can be great. And lastly, one last example. You believe your work is worth a higher salary, so you just go in, have an honest discussion with your employer to focus on expressing the value of your work and coming up with a mutually beneficial agreement without making it personal, without making it emotional. Last year, I had a client get a $30,000 raise and she said she would never have asked if it was not from the tools she learned in coaching.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:56]:
This bold expansion is accessible for you as well. It's right on the other side of your fears. And what's gonna help you move through your fears is the three skills I'm teaching in the confident nerd school. Okay? The Confident Nerd School, let's get into the details, is an intimate small group experience. There's a maximum of 15 participants in the cohort, it's 6 months of weekly coaching, and lifetime access to the lessons that I teach. What's different about the confident nerd school in comparison to, let's say, some forms of therapy or other personal development programs is that it is action focused. So you will learn to manage your fears as you go out there, try new things, mess up try again with the support of me and your peers. This is how you become unstoppable.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:56]:
Not by working on improving yourselves in the safety of your home until you feel ready enough to step onto the field. No. We're gonna step onto the field or the arena, like Brennan Brown says, and learn to work with our fears while we're there. While we're in the thick of it. With the tools that I'm gonna teach you and with the other members in the group who are on the same journey and coming together every week to work through everyone's challenges and keep ourselves accountable. Now let's talk about what it's gonna look like month by month. In the 1st month, you will start by having an honest, humbling look at your current state and deeply understanding what is instead of numbing or running away. When people start working with me sometimes they're they're used to I had a client say after work I would get home and I would just smoke weed while I played Zelda on the couch.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:01]:
So what we will do in month 1 is take full ownership of what's going on and what our responsibility is in the life we have created for ourselves. We don't wanna rush to a better place. Actually, you're not going to end up in a better place if you cannot relax here and deeply understand what's been getting in your way. So let's say you feel behind in life maybe you wish you would've had a fancier career by now or you would've had more money saved up that's okay we're gonna tell the truth about how we feel but we're not going to dramatize the situation either We need to unshame in order to get really clear about what happened and the ways in which we need to uplevel. Because what happens is when when you're judging yourself, you get stuck in inaction. If, for example, you keep telling yourself the story that you've made a bunch of bad decisions, that's gonna make you feel shame. And when we feel shame, we just wanna hide under the covers and binge Netflix. We're not in a place where we can actually take action to change our lives.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:17:21]:
So month 1, we have an objective look at your current life. We remove the shame and figure out what are the obstacles that need to be worked through in order for you to have the life that you want. Then in month 2, we're going to reconnect with your core, with your inner voice, and start dreaming big. The next step here is going to be to practice sharing your real desires within the safety of the group. You're gonna start rehearsing your truth before taking real life action. Let's say you wanna be a rich artist, an award winning creative director, a best selling author. You're gonna say it loud and proud. It's kind of like trying on new clothing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:18:13]:
Like higher quality clothing that represent the person that you want to become. Okay? We're gonna try it on and start putting ourselves in this state of being without thinking about the how or the obstacles on the way there. Okay? This space for dreaming is essential to reconnecting with the inner voice that you have been neglecting, for some of you for most of your adult life. So we wanna get back to who you really are and practice listening to that whisper. What's that whisper telling us? Because that's how we're now going to we're gonna commit together to living our lives from our core instead of based on what society expects of us or instead of being driven by our fears. In month 2, you're also going to explore who you are, what lights you up, what you value most, what you're good at and what you can like I was telling you earlier, the unique contribution that you can make to the world when you listen to what's present in you instead of letting your inner critic lead the way. So once you have reclaimed your power, once you have a better understanding of where you are, who you are, where you want to go, we're going to move into month 3 and make bold decisions. I'm gonna teach you the art of decisiveness because confusion and procrastination are just fancy forms of fear.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:19:53]:
So I'll teach you how to deconstruct those fears that come up so that you can make aligned choices for your life without hesitation. You will take all of the possibilities that we brainstormed in month 2 and distill them into 3 concrete goals that you're gonna focus on in the next 3 months. As well as an action plan that's going to, yes, push your limits while also feeling sustainable and unique to you. That is month 3. Like, we're preparing the parachute in order to jump. We're working on the last little details, before before we take action. And then we move into months 4, 5, and 6. The second half of the program is all about jumping into a playful iteration process and learning to regulate our emotions outside our comfort zones while we're taking action in, on the field.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:20:54]:
You will try new things. You will make bold requests. You will take chances. You'll be expected to get it wrong. Because you know what? The faster you fail, the faster you learn and build resilience. Confidence comes when you realize that whatever happens you can cope just fine when you have the right tools and the right people supporting you on the journey So this gives you an idea of what the program will be like and so if you are ready to define your unique vision and develop the emotional and the mental strength to finally discover who you are on the other side of fear, then apply for the confident nerd school. You can go to selfgrowthnerds.com/school where you can read about all the details and click on the application button fill in the application form I'm gonna review it, and I'm gonna get back to you within 1, 2, or 3 days max, and tell you if you're accepted. Now please be aware that there's a maximum of 15 participants in the group, so if that interests you, apply as soon as you can.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:10]:
We start on June 18th. Okay? And it goes all the way to December 18th. So the end of the year. We'll be together for the second half of the year. We'll be meeting every week in group coaching calls. If you wanna know what it's like to work with me, what my coaching is like, there is a video on the page with clients telling you more about their experience. So though there's gonna be group coaching every week, you'll be in a private WhatsApp group with the other participants, you'll have accountability partners that change every 2 months that you can do your work with, and you'll get real close with the other members. That's what I've been told in the past.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:22:55]:
That's one of the best thing about a group coaching program is the group. The people that you meet that push you to raise your standards and to show up for yourself because you're all in this together. And lastly, there's also the curriculum that you can move through at your own pace. There's a bunch of lessons and tools that you can use. There's going to be workshops as well. And all of that, you will have lifetime access to. So go check it out. The cost of the program is also on the page there's 2 options there's a group only option and you can also have a one on one add on if you want 1 on 1 sessions with me.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:23:39]:
There's a bonus if you join before June 1st. You're going to get a free 90 minute intensive purpose session with me where we're gonna dive into the turning points of your personal history. What lights you up more than most and the areas where you can make the most impact so we can define what your unique purpose is. So that's a bonus that you get if you join us before June 1st. So that's it for today. Go get all the details on selfgrowthnerds.com/school. And let me know. Just reach out on Instagram if you have any questions.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:24:21]:
I'm at selfgrowthnerds on Instagram and I'll be happy to chat. If you've never worked with a coach before, it makes a lot of sense that you would be hesitant because you have no idea what to expect. Right? It's not something that we hear about a lot. So don't hesitate to come and share your concerns with me. Personally, the first way in which coaching has had an impact in my life so before I even considered this as a career for myself when I hired my first coach one of the ways that she helped me is that she saw the most powerful version of me, of who I could become, And she held that vision until I was brave enough to meet her there. Actually, she taught me how to get there and she was next to me as I was taking the the steps. And this is what the confident nerd school is about. It's a 6 month container to uncover and rehearse who you can become on the other side of confusion, procrastination, overwhelm.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:25:32]:
Who you can become when you're in alignment with your truth. I'm gonna teach you the skills to get there and then I'm gonna walk alongside you as you take those courageous steps So if you wanna spend the second half of twenty twenty four breaking out of the risk averse and fear driven feelings you've been following before they become too ingrained in your life, then go apply at self growth nerds dot com slash school. Okay. Have a beautiful rest of your week, and I will talk to you soon. Bye bye. Hey. If you love what you're hearing on the South Girl Nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on selfgrowthnerds.com or message me on Instagram at selfgrowthnerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:26:39]:
So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait. Get in touch now and I cannot wait to meet you.