Episode 193 - The Myth of the Right Decision
Are you stuck in indecision, constantly worrying about making the "wrong" choice? In this episode, I debunk the myth of the "right decision" to help you break free from analysis paralysis and take empowered action. I’ll walk you through 3 strategies to make more grounded, confident, and values-based choices in any area of your life—whether it’s your career, relationships, or personal growth. This is perfect for anyone seeking to build confidence in decision-making and stop second-guessing their path!
Topics
Discussion on analysis paralysis and indecision.
Encouragement to make a decision rather than remain indecisive.
The concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy in decision-making.
Evaluating options as different opportunities for growth
Decision-making based on values alignment.
Links
👉 Want to dig deeper into what you learned in the podcast? Go to selfgrowthnerds.com/school to work 1-on-1 with me! 👈
Transcript
[AUTO-GENERATED]
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:00:06]:
Welcome to the self growth nerds podcast. I'm your host Marie, a courage coach, creative soul, and adventure seeker. Since through hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I'm on a mission to help you embrace your most confident self so you can achieve your dreams too. If you're eager for deep conversations, big questions, and meaningful connections, join me on the quest to discovering how we can create a more magical and memorable life. Hello, nerds. How are you? I am doing so good. Before we get started, I have a big announcement to make. This is episode a 193, and when we reach episode 200, I will have been recording this podcast for 4 years, taking barely any breaks.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:01:04]:
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take a break after 200 episodes over the holidays and if I'm 100 percent honest with you I don't know what's going to come next. I don't know if it's going to be just a break or an ending And this, this feels really sad to say because I've been deeply enjoying creating the self growth nerds podcast. And because I know that some of you listen every week religiously and that the podcast has changed your lives in so many ways. But right now, it's not a full body yes anymore. And I don't know if I just needed to rest or if I'm feeling called in a new direction and I need to pause in order to hear clues about what this new direction is. So to be determined I don't know anything more than what I just shared. What's for sure is I'm not going to disappear. I love what I do.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:02:21]:
I love helping creative weirdos own who they really are deep down and create a life that is in alignment with that in which they feel at home. So I'm gonna keep doing this work I just don't know what it's going to look like. Now that being said, we still have 7 episodes together. So let's jump in and talk about today's topic, which is the myth of the right decision. This myth is responsible for so many people being stuck in analysis paralysis. They wonder what they should do. Should I do this? Should I do that? There's advantages and disadvantages for each option and so we stay stuck in the miserable maybe and nothing happens. To me, making what we believe is a wrong decision is better than making no decision at all.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:03:25]:
Because at least we gather information about what doesn't work and we're getting closer to knowing what works for us and what we're attempting to do. We're so accustomed to a binary way of thinking. We believe if I'm a good person and I do the right thing, I'm going to be okay. But there's no such thing really. We're not in a movie. Life is so much more messy and nuanced than this. Which is why I think it's so liberating to approach life with more curiosity, playfulness, and a growth oriented mindset. So today, I'm going to offer 3 reframes to try and bring some wiggle room around your desire to make the right decision.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:04:17]:
Okay? Let's start with the first one. There's no right decision. There's only the decision that you make right. It's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy when you think about it. If you believe a decision is the right one you will act with a lot more conviction and that conviction will increase your chances of a positive result. For example, let's say you decide to leave your partner to find someone who you're more compatible with. If you believe this was the wrong decision, you're probably going to spend a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself and ruminating. If, however, you believe it was the right decision, you're more likely to put yourself out there, go on more dates, and if a date doesn't go well instead of telling yourself I should have known, I should have stayed with my ex, you're gonna tell yourself oh this was just not my person.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:05:15]:
Let's, let's hope for a better outcome next time. And then when the next time comes, you'll show up to the date feeling joyful, feeling open instead of showing up to the date feeling like let's see if this is better than the last one. Your energy radiates and people can feel your vibe. So if you're kind of cynical, you will show up differently and that will lead to different results. When I left my last partner, I knew I was going to meet someone else eventually. So when I would show up in a public space, there was a part of me that was like, oh, I wonder if this is where I'm going to meet my person. So I would stand up straight, look around at people with curiosity. I made my dating profile super clear.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:06:08]:
Something that I hear a lot of people say is dating apps don't work. And look, I know they can be exhausting and overwhelming, but are you working them is my question. Are you putting in the effort of getting to know yourself, getting to know exactly what kind of relationship you want and being clear about that on the apps. I've seen so many profiles of people who put in minimal effort. There's 3 pictures and no text or the text is similar to everyone else. To me it it might be an unconscious way to protect yourself because you have doubts. You're scared to be vulnerable, you're scared you're going to get hurt, you're holding on to a limiting belief that you're never gonna meet anyone, and so, you know, you're on the dating apps but not really. You have like a toe in the pool, but you're not swimming in them with conviction.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:07:17]:
And when you're in the outside world you might look at your phone when you're in public instead of looking at the people around you and maybe striking up a conversation. And I'm not saying it's not a matter of luck, there is a lot of luck involved, but what you believe is also super important because it translates in the way you show up and the way you show up has an impact on the results that you get, whether we like it or not. Let's think of another example. You have a business idea. You wonder is it a good or a bad idea? Who knows? You haven't tested it yet. But if you go out there with the mindset that you're gonna do everything you can to make it work, then when your first prototype doesn't get the numbers that you had expected, you're just going to move on to prototype number 2 and then number 3 and you're gonna tweak as you go, which is going to increase your chances of success in the long run. Whereas, if you have a more binary way of thinking, you might stop after the first prototype doesn't get the numbers you had hoped because you would make it mean that you're either not good at business or that the idea was not a good one. That is reframe number 1.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:08:45]:
There's no right decision. There's only the decision that you decide to make right. Two questions you can ask yourself here to reflect on in your journal is how would I show up if I believed my success was inevitable And how can I make this decision the right one? Before we move on to reframe number 2, I want to add a bit of nuance. If we go back to the, should I break up or not example. To me there is a right decision in the sense that there's going to be a decision that's led by your heart, that's led by your intuition. And that's what I always aim to pursue. If you can't hear what your intuition is trying to tell you, get still and try to listen. But then if you really don't know, then just make any decision and that's how you will learn the language of your intuition.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:09:52]:
Because if you make a decision and then it ends up not feeling in alignment with your core then you know you have more information about what is your truth and how it feels in your body. Alright. Reframe number 2. When you're faced with a decision to make you can ask yourself which challenge do I want to undertake? Like a choose your own adventure book or as if you were designing your life curriculum. In what ways do I want to grow? If you've got 2 jobs you have to choose between, one that has a higher salary and the other is, let's say in a smaller company where you would do a wider variety of tasks and develop more skills, then you get to choose do I want to, discover who I would be with more money and what I could do? Or do I want to discover who I am once I have learned these new skills? Another way to think about this is what's this season of my life about? Is it about stability or is it about growth? Another example could be that you have a job that's fine and you wonder if you should get another one that fulfils you more. There are challenges to staying just like there are challenges to leaving and you get to choose which ones you want to undertake. The challenges of staying might be, 1, having to deal with the known misery. Maybe that's a low salary, you're complaining colleagues.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:11:45]:
2, having to make an effort to leave your comfort zone outside of work to create fulfillment elsewhere if fulfillment is what you want. 3, you might have to have a difficult conversation with your manager about what you actually want and the projects that truly light you up. 4, you might have to learn to advocate for yourself and stand up for your ideas. Or if you decide to leave then you will be facing a different set of challenges, like having to get to know your strengths, having to figure out how to stand out in an industry, having to put yourself out there and go meet lots of new people. Both options have their own challenges and you've got to instead of thinking, okay, which in which path guarantees me the high highest probabilities of success, think about the first reframe and decide. Okay. If I can make both options work then which path is going to help me grow in the way that I most want to evolve. And lastly, the the third reframe is kind of similar.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:13:07]:
It's which option is most aligned with the values I want to uphold as a person. It's been easy for me in a way because I tell the world I'm a courage coach. So whenever I'm faced with a decision I have to ask myself which option is the most courageous. For example, when I was wondering whether or not to come out as queer and non monogamous to my parents, part of me was like, oh, no. This is scary. I wanna keep my privacy, I I don't want our relationship to change, I want them to think only good thoughts about me. But I had to be honest with myself and be like, well, actually I value courage, I value authenticity, I value nonconformity, and I want to embody those values, not just talk about them. Because that's the thing.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:14:07]:
Often we talk about what we value, but do our values really show up in the decisions that we make? Let's say you're a parent and you tell your children it's important to listen to your gut, to listen to that little voice inside of you, then when it's time for you to make a decision in your own life, you can take your own parental advice and ask yourself, okay, well what's my low voice telling me? Another way to phrase this is what's really important to you versus what's fear driven. One last example. Let's say, a friend asks you to go out on Tuesday night, but you had planned to stay in and read in your bath. Then you get to ask yourself, who do I want to be in this kind of situation? And becoming the person you most want to be is not always going to be comfortable. Sometimes it's going to mean that you can't people please, that you disappoint others, and maybe that's okay. I personally think it's worth it. It's hard, but worth it. Okay.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:15:27]:
This is it for today. This was my attempt at weakening the myth of the right decision with 3 reframes. Reframe number 1, there's no right decision. Only the decision that you make right. Reframe number 2, different options are like different adventures. Which one do you want to undertake? Basically, which video game do you want to play? And reframe number 3, which option is most aligned with the values that you want to embody as a human being? I hope this was helpful. Please reach out to me on instagram at self girl nerds if you had any insights you want to share and otherwise, I will talk to you next week. Bye, everyone.
Marie-Pier Tremblay [00:16:19]:
Hey. If you love what you're hearing on the self growth nerds podcast and you want individual help finding a new direction for your life and developing the courage to make your dreams a reality, you have to check out how we can work together on selfgrowthnerds.com or message me on Instagram at selfgrowthnerds. My clients say they would have needed that support years ago. So if you're tired of feeling like you're wasting your life, don't wait. Get in touch now, and I cannot wait to meet you.